If you are involved in a local consent discussion and are up on my page looking for a response to Judah Sher's bullshit...
* this is what abusers do - they refuse to let their victims live their lives and constantly throw bullshit into their lives. I'm fucking sick of it, and it is retraumatizing, and knowing that gets him off.
* lawyers don't advise you to say nothing until the statute of limitations is up if you're innocent. Nothing wrong with saying "I didn't do it" if you didn't do it. If he were to tell you what actually happened, he would be charged with a felony. That's why he's not telling you.
* yes he was brought in for questioning, and if you wonder why he wasn't charged, google the statistics on how many rapes actually go to trial. Ever. Now narrow that down to non-stranger rapes. Now narrow it down to intimate partner violence. Can you find any?
* yes I did sue him in civil court. This is a thing many people do in order to "be made whole", as lawyers put it, after rape. Things that one can get out of it include Your Day In Court if that's your goal, recovery of monies owed to you, and outcomes like batterer's intervention programs. And I can't tell you the terms, but you can guess by the fact that a settlement exists that My Day in Court was not my #1 priority.
* he is obsessed with forcing himself on me. See the initial rape, see this bullshit, see him coming into court and laughing at my distress before the judge came in. He will not stop. Want to know the kind of person he is? Examine that. Also, keep in mind that any discussion of whether or not consent is a thing probably involves shitheads who, now that they have my contact info, will hurl rape threats at me for the next howeverlong, so there's that too.
He's claiming that he was blackmailed into posting links to my posts. I don't believe him, because all that shit is googleable; it makes no sense to say "post this or I will". If you're wondering if it was me? It hella wasn't. All I want is to not have to talk about this shit. All I wanted tonight was to go out and see a show and have fun goofing off with friends, and once again, Judah has decided that I'm not allowed to do that. So instead I've been having full-body tremors for half an hour.
But he doesn't get to keep taking shit away from me.
If you see me tonight, buy me a damn drink.
(I did indeed have a few damn drinks, and my friends were awesome to me. But this is here for the record. Comments closed because the whole point is that I don't want to keep rehashing.)