Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong


Teetering on the edge of overwhelmed, but managing to keep my balance thus far.

My Days
Wake up, Aleve, Symbicort, catch up on everything that requires online communication as much as possible, eat, shower
Writing novel
All the phone calls ever, walk dog, put food in self
Writing novel OR PT OR other various doctors OR work meeting
Adam home! Dinner, catching up on TV as much as possible, Nerd Wars knitting
Copyediting after Adam goes to bed
PT exercises, Aleve, Symbicort, Toprol, Lunesta, Flexeril, half hour with heating pad on lower back as I read and wait for Lunesta to work...

No time in there for reading pre-bedtime or doing anything around the house, which is wearing on me.

We're skint due to the shenanigans; donations to the legal fund have saved our butts, but I have the hamster wheel running in my head of what expenses we have coming up and what money can cover them. $200 for Elayna's deposit at the college she's transferring to can happen soon as we get our state income tax refund, but who knows when that'll be, and will we have enough left over for my Wiscon plane ticket? I wanted to take Elayna to Wiscon for the first time, but the three manuscripts I'm copyediting and five books I'm reviewing for the Amazon Breakthrough Novel contest won't pay out in time for me to buy both plane tickets simultaneously. There's one big payout which could happen this week or not til next year. I have a lot of not knowing.

So every minute that I'm not head down in the novel or cursing my physical therapist or having long talks with my doctor is this.

Cheapest flights to Madison right now are $454. I can do that on the tax refund for myself, but wouldn't be able to bring Elayna. She would love Wiscon - and her girlfriend lives in Madison.

I don't want to do Wind Tunnel Dreams to raise money for this, because I hate doing Wind Tunnel Dreams and it kills all other creativity from me for the day. I'm not sure what else I can do. I'd've bought the tickets before stuff like the sedated dental work, but couldn't until the legal shenanigans were settled. *sits*

The Good Stuff
* Elayna got into the college she applied to transfer to!
* Chromosomal microarray test is approved; on Friday I'm getting blood taken and we'll start to figure out exactly what kind of mutant I am.
* One of the reasons this is a skint few months is that we've spent huge piles of money on Stuff We Gotta Do. Every time we turn around it's $1K for this, $700 for that, and I am eating beans and rice, but hey, I am having my sedated dental work tomorrow, and Elayna's spring semester got paid off, and Nicky had his surgery and is starting obedience training. So. Stuff is getting done. Next time we have money, after Wiscon tickets, it goes to the car...
* I am doing very well in PT. My pelvis is staying where he put it... I'm doing my exercises daily and minding the way I sit and stand. I was able to do the hell exercise without a single balance check on Monday. In these months of kernel-thrashing, it's good to have measurable progress.
* Still writing.

And right now, my brain is empty! Lots of interruptions in the course of this post, and Nicky's been waking me up at 5am - I've been successful most days at getting back to sleep, but minisleeps disrupt my day and mind only a little less than the exhaustion would.

So I am going to finish my coffee, eat something, shower, and fall into the novel for a while. At least when my writerbrain is going, the money-and-time hamsterwheel is at rest.
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