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20th-Mar-2014 08:32 am
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"Books have endings. Stories don't."
~~Randall "We write to discover what we believe." ~~Jonathan Carroll "...part of you pours out of me in these lines from time to time." ~~"Case of You", Joni Mitchell "There is a crack in everything; that's how the light gets in." ~~"Anthem", Leonard Cohen "If you wanna be immortal, you gotta have something to trade in." ~~"Anything", Foetus "This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy." ~~George Bernard Shaw "The real secret of magic is that the world is made of words, and that if you know the words that the world is made of you can make of it whatever you wish." ~~Terence McKenna "When we die, we will turn into songs, and we will hear each other and remember each other." ~~Rob Sheffield "I have a sickness in the brain. I'm allowed to make no sense to you puny mortals with your fully operational head-meat." ~~Spider Jerusalem "Sometimes you crash. Sometimes, the fall kills you. And sometimes... sometimes, you fly." ~~Neil Gaiman "Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself." ~~Lois McMaster Bujold "Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." ~~Albert Camus "Being able to speak the unspeakable is very powerful. If we can hear another person express where they get stuck, or lost, or repeat a negative pattern, it builds a bridge." ~~SARK "Myths and legends die hard in America." ~~Hunter S. Thompson "Don't undertake a project unless it is manifestly important and nearly impossible." ~~Edwin Land "Having faced the fire of your initiation and survived its heat, you can now serve others in a whole new way. By being a living testimony to life transformed, you carry in your cells a sacred knowledge, and in your mind and heart a sacred fire. It's not the fire of youth but the fire of Prometheus, who emerged with the light that would light the world. It's a light that you only could have gotten from having faced some version of your personal hell, and now you are inoculated to the fires which rage around us. Sometimes it is fire that puts out fire, and such is the fire that now burns in you. This is not the fire of your destruction but of your victory. It is the fire of the middle years." ~~Marianne Williamson "Considering how common illness is, how tremendous the spiritual change it brings, how astonishing, when the lights of health go down, the undiscovered countries that are then disclosed…what ancient and obdurate oaks are uprooted in us by the act of sickness…it becomes strange indeed that illness has not taken its place with love and battle and jealously among the prime themes of literature." ~~Virginia Woolf "The Universe puts us in places were we can learn. They are never easy places, but they are right. Wherever we are is the right place, at the right time. The pain that sometimes comes is part of the process of constantly being born." "I will tell you a great secret, Captain, perhaps the greatest secret of all time: The molecules of your body are the same molecules that make up this station, and the nebula outside - that burn inside the stars themselves. We are star-stuff. We are the Universe made manifest, trying to figure itself out. And, as we have both learned, sometimes the Universe requires a change of perspective." ~~Delenn, Babylon 5 "Light Leak", by SJ Tucker
Swirling stars into my skin
With a leaky stolen pen Stories end, pull kenning in Let the light leak in I finally let the light leak in I am kenning all I can She and I, me and my mind, Writing hard for the one true thing That lets you let me in Beguiling what must to gain the trust of the minutemen I am worth investing in and I never stop spinning. Kenning yarns out of my skin With a leaky borrowed pen Swirling stars and stories in Will you let the light leak in? Links
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My scent accommodation is hard. I can't make people switch out of using scented things just to come to my house. I can't control it when I go to other people's places. It's not like food where I can choose not to eat it. I can't choose not to breathe. We had to leave a holiday party this December because someone was wearing a particularly aggressive cologne. If you have dealt with this with others I'd be interested in knowing their solutions. I've been trying to find workable solutions since I was twenty.
One person who I am friends-ish with (I see her at larps and rarely at SCA events and she's super awesome but just far enough away, y'know?) cemented herself as Best Person Ever for me when I was getting a tour of her house when I was brought there for a NYE party - and she was all, "And this is the workroom/library. There are comfy chairs and books in here and nobody ever comes up here. SIGNIFICANT LOOK, INTROVERT."
It's a tiny social accommodation, but it really meant a lot and made me a ton more comfortable.
I've always considered emotional sensitivity to be something like an allergy. You have a responsibility to keep yourself safe by asking for what you need. And other people have a responsibility to either provide that, or to say that they can't handle it and nip things in the bud early on.
I also find that people are more likely to tell me about the food/physical than the emotional. I think it might be social? Physical things are real and emotional ones aren't?
I confess that a big part of my lack of social the last few years has been that unless I feel "healthy" (aka: functional and with at least 4-6 hours of energy) I don't visit or socialize with people unless I feel like I can say "Excuse me, I know we are in the middle of a chat but I am crashing hard. Would it be ok if I took a nap?" since I worry that will be seen as rude/presumptuous. I have a great set of friends in NYC where the wife is an introvert and I love visiting them because whenever I need a nap she comes and joins me so I still feel "social" even if we are both just dozing! :)
This is a really wonderful essay.
May I add you to my reading list?
This did remind me that I am hosting a painting/wine party next week and need to send out my email asking for this information.
Edited at 2014-03-21 03:13 am (UTC)
It is often hard to help others feel at home when they have some sort of phobia, religious or cultural restriction, or other personal issue. Sometimes certain kinds of movie or anime were off limits because of certain personal fears, like physical mutilation or ghosts.
But it's always a good indication that you are a good person if you put yourself out for the comfort of others under your roof. Hospitality goes a long way to making sure a good time is had by most, if not all in attendance.