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Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
Future Plans 
19th-Mar-2014 09:36 am
So there was another, very big reason we needed to not have that fallacious stalking no contact order go into effect.

In late January, knowing that all of our plans for the near future had been nuked, Adam and I sat down with pen and paper (I know, archaic!) and discussed our goals as a family. What do we want to be doing? How do we make those things happen? We each came up with a thing or two that surprised each other at first, then made us go "oh well yes that makes perfect sense".

But one particular thing is a very old plan. We'd set it aside when Judah and I were talking about possibly having a child, and kept it set aside when Judah's old room seemed spoken for, but now? Now it was suddenly possible again. It was originally a plan for when Elayna moved out entirely, but having the empty room means it can happen much sooner. So we discussed it. In February, we met with the necessary parties about it - this is the BIG EXCITING THING I was bouncing about. And now we have the official application in hand and the big roadblock removed.

Adam and I are applying to be foster parents.

*bounce* *bounce*

Aaaaaah I am excited just saying that. <3

The particular type of foster care we're applying for is intensive foster care... kids who have a few more needs and challenges, medically or behaviorally. This isn't adoption - in most cases, the goal is reunification with the family of origin, after everyone gets the help they need to be a healthy family. Time of stay is two months to two years, generally. We can't take kids under six because our house isn't deleaded, but we're open to all other ages.

The person at the agency was very, very happy when I told her we'd particularly like to be matched with LGBT kids. Particularly trans* kids. They're among the hardest to place. Ours would be a safe and happy home, and we have so many local trans* and other QUILTBAG friends in our community who would be amazing friends and mentors to kids in our care.

On a less chipper but very realistic note: My seven years of BARCC volunteering is deeply relevant to their enthusiasm about us as a household. Also my medical knowledge and ability to manage care.

I have tears right now, I'm so overwhelmed about this. I have loved every bit of Elayna's transition to adult life, but I have missed active parenting so much. This is a way to help the world by doing something that's tremendously emotionally fulfilling for me.

The ten-week MAPP training starts in late April. Which is why that's my deadline for finishing the novel! Also why we spent our tax refund on obedience training for Nicky. The goal is for us to be in a place to be available to foster parent by late summer; we need some time just being, just settling down from the upheavals we've been through. Training as soon as possible, and then we open our home when we're ready. With intensive foster care as opposed to standard foster care, you can only have up to two kids in the home at once; we're planning to stick to one unless we're matched with siblings, to start.

I think that's the last Big Thing in my world I've been keeping quiet about.

The future is really awesome.
19th-Mar-2014 01:42 pm (UTC)
Extremely cool, especially the intensive part; the kids who probably need it most, whom your unique experiences can help the most. Go you!
19th-Mar-2014 01:44 pm (UTC)
Everything the person from the agency said had me bouncing. "I have extensive training in that! I can navigate treatment of multiple medical issues in my sleep!" My skillset is bizarrely perfect for exactly this!
20th-Mar-2014 03:09 am (UTC)
Cool! It's wonderful to discover someting the universe has been training you for.
20th-Mar-2014 03:12 am (UTC)
Exactly so!
19th-Mar-2014 01:46 pm (UTC)
This is wonderful news!!!

Also, thank you for this - so many kids need good homes and good parenting.
19th-Mar-2014 01:51 pm (UTC)
Oh, this is wonderful! I hope this works out, quickly, for your sake and for the children you can help!
(Deleted comment)
19th-Mar-2014 02:07 pm (UTC)
When I realized that this was an option for us once again, I swear I laughed and danced around the house. <3
19th-Mar-2014 02:37 pm (UTC)
19th-Mar-2014 03:19 pm (UTC)

What agency did you go through?
19th-Mar-2014 03:42 pm (UTC)
Rather not say in public, because I'm not sure Lynne's done harassing me yet...
19th-Mar-2014 04:44 pm (UTC) - I agree that this is wonderful
I hope you can find a kid who's a good match for what your household can provide.
19th-Mar-2014 04:51 pm (UTC)

19th-Mar-2014 05:41 pm (UTC)
holy crap! congratulations and good luck!!
19th-Mar-2014 05:43 pm (UTC)
That is wonderful! *much hugs* :)
19th-Mar-2014 07:58 pm (UTC)
I suggest you check out the Fosterhood tumblr blog and Fosterwee for a window into fostering right now, and reality versus MAPP.

Also, both are great reads.
19th-Mar-2014 10:15 pm (UTC)
omg this is so exciting!!!
19th-Mar-2014 11:15 pm (UTC)
Congratulations! That's fantastic! I hope things go well and quickly for you.
20th-Mar-2014 06:53 am (UTC)
I'm excited to read about this adventure in your life.

I've given some thought to fostering/adopting a child or two down the road when I am more financially solvent, as, thus far, it appears to be the only way I have to be a mother in this life (neither good nor bad, it simply is). So I will be curious to see how the processes go for you and your family.

Good luck! :)
20th-Mar-2014 10:11 am (UTC)
This is very cool.
21st-Mar-2014 08:28 pm (UTC)
I am so thrilled to read this. Fostering has always been in the back of my mind as something i would love to do someday... down the line when things are more stable here. :) I hope it goes splendidly for you.
21st-Mar-2014 10:18 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :)
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