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Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
Question 
15th-Jan-2014 12:06 pm
Hearth
What topics would you want covered in a book about dismantling rape culture?

Besides "how do I do that?" :)

I have a lot of angles that I am definitely already taking, but I'm also very aware that I've been deeply involved in prevention work for some time, so some of the things you want/need to know might slip my mind in my eagerness to jump into stuff like community mobilization.
Comments 
15th-Jan-2014 06:08 pm (UTC) - Disability
I would be interested in reading how disability plays into rape culture and any ways you know of addressing this facet of the issues.
15th-Jan-2014 06:28 pm (UTC)
A discussion of positive portrayals of consent.
15th-Jan-2014 07:16 pm (UTC)
+1
15th-Jan-2014 07:27 pm (UTC)
This!
15th-Jan-2014 07:31 pm (UTC)
Perhaps something on how rape/sexual assault includes more than just non-consensual penetration, and how all of those are no less damaging/painful to deal with.
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15th-Jan-2014 08:19 pm (UTC)
I think you explained much more clearly a variation on what I was trying to suggest. Thanks! :)
15th-Jan-2014 08:56 pm (UTC)
This. One of the things I struggled with A LOT was "He didn't hit me so it must not have been rape." Also "I didn't fight back so maybe its my fault."
20th-Jan-2014 05:42 am (UTC)
This.
15th-Jan-2014 11:33 pm (UTC)
Timing: There is no wrong time to talk to a person about aspects of rape culture, at their appropriate level. College is too late to *start* the conversation. High school is too late to *start* the conversation. Start with teaching basic lessons to your children about genders, bodies, equality, respecting yourself and others, and how their bodies function. Slowly add to the conversation as they are mature enough to understand, step by step.

You get what I mean? I think we put things off too long, as a culture. The message gets lost somewhere. Maybe "bad touch" is a conversation when a kid's 4, but what about between ages 5-6 and puberty?
16th-Jan-2014 08:55 pm (UTC)
And we always frame "bad touch" as "something that other people might do to you" not "something you might do to other people if you're not careful".
15th-Jan-2014 11:53 pm (UTC)
I think it's tough for me to comment for the same reasons I need to read your future book -- I'm still learning about rape culture, and I'm not a rape survivor, and I have only learned enough to know that I don't know what all of the Wrong Things To Say are. A deconstructing of what some of those things are would helpful.... though I can also see how that list would be unique to each person and making such a list could be a life's work. However, I think that a lot of common reactions fall into types-of-things categories and perhaps those could be covered.

I think most often, I want to be a better listener, but even being a good listener means SAYING SOMETHING eventually, and often, I feel that I am saying the wrong thing or unaware of what those wrong things could be. Not because I'm not smart, but because empathy only gets you so far.
16th-Jan-2014 01:20 am (UTC) - Media
Talk about the media's role in rape culture and I don't mean how it is handled after but how, via media, it is taught to do these things in our culture (especially movies and music).
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16th-Jan-2014 01:34 am (UTC)
I nice collection of stories one can tell that will get people who don't believe there is such a thing as rape culture to get a sense of what it is. Explanations don't work nearly as well as stories, and sometimes it's hard to think of the right kind of story on the fly for a particular concept; there are probably a good variety that could be helpful here, to illustrate different aspects of it, or similar ones from different views.
16th-Jan-2014 01:27 pm (UTC)
Whatever you write, I think maybe you should include meaningful examination of how non-white survivors experience the justice system, and a thorough look at how non-white activists are changing the system.

I'm hearing a lot of calls lately for white feminists to start working harder to recognize, collaborate with, respect, listen to and support the work of non-white feminists.
16th-Jan-2014 01:33 pm (UTC)
Absolutely. I have my dream list of people I want to interview/profile for this, so I'll be able to accurately include and credit the work of people of color, the trans community (who are at the highest risk of rape), and others.
16th-Jan-2014 04:08 pm (UTC) - Epic topic
It feels like the scope is so large several volumes could be written. I know many books have been written just about the media influences alone.

I guess I'd need more information - do you want to document the work being done by good people, good organizations, allies, schools, etc? Do you want to focus on personal stories or social policies? Do you want to create a how-to? A handbook for {survivors, allies, the unsure}?

Give me a focus and I'll have some preferences for what I'd like/expect in it, but it seems unfair for me to bring my special notions of how education should be changed if that's not relevant to what you want your book to be.
16th-Jan-2014 06:37 pm (UTC)
The long history of it, for instance as seen in people's attempts to suggest that T. E. Lawrence was making up his rape at Deraa.
17th-Jan-2014 03:05 am (UTC)
Bystander intervention. What it is (not necessarily an in the moment thing!), when to do it, things to consider. All of the stuff that goes into the bystander training, because it's not things I thought of as bystander intervention, and that's one of the basic prevention levels.
17th-Jan-2014 03:40 am (UTC) - Here's one for you
21st-Jan-2014 01:29 am (UTC)
Teaching saying "no". I have friends who were afraid or unable to say "no" with the obvious result.

Teaching hearing "no" and heeding it. This is the most important part. Harassers & rapists don't listen or don't heed it.</p>

Part of the problem with "no" may lie in our child rearing practices. We override children all the time when they say "no". For their own good usually. "No, I don't want to go to bed." No, I don't want to eat spinach." But they learn either powerlessness, "saying 'no' doesn't work," or "if I'm powerful I don't have to listen to the word 'no'."

Some fundamental stuff here. Don't know if it helps with the book though.

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