Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong

Breathe in, breathe out.

I went to the doctor yesterday with a List, and emerged with new medications, a referral to a genetic counselor, and a great deal of frustration. The frustration's not at my doctor; it's at my body.

* My heart medication isn't covering me completely; I'm having breakthrough flutters. However, my blood pressure is too low to up my dosage. So for that, at least, we're in wait-and-see mode. If the flutters escalate from annoying to scary, we'll have to switch medications, which we'd rather not do because this one is doing pretty well and I haven't had many side effects from it.

* For the past few weeks, I haven't been able to so much as take a walk without requiring my emergency inhaler. And I wake up wheezy sometimes. So now I'm on Symbicort twice daily as a preventative, and am to check back in a few weeks; if it's not doing the trick, straight-up steroids are the next line of attack. It's really never been quite this hair-trigger. So. Y'know. Concerned.

* I had a resurgence of pain in April and May as Judah was dialing up the emotional abuse and then escalated to physical abuse and rape. It went away from a bit after the immediate aftermath, but it's come roaring back as I wait on some things regarding the criminal and civil cases. For the past few weeks, it's been constant and at a level that absolutely impairs me. So I had to bite the bullet and get pain meds. My doctor would like to give me amitryptiline, but he hears me when I say I don't want anything mood-altering. So I'm on Flexeril for now, and we'll see how that goes.

I am hoping that a lot of this is stress, because this intense stress will go away. I don't know for sure, though. I don't like not knowing.

And so I am frustrated.


Also got my flu shot, then went to Thor 2, which I very much enjoyed.

And today was the first snow of the season, which I videotaped and sent to Elayna. Because... augh, I can't find any video for you! But it's a Gilmore Girls thing. The first snow of the season, and Lorelai and Rory always celebrate, and Elayna and I are Rory and Lorelai. This is the first first-snow-of-the-season without her.

She said "Happy first snow!!!" And she'll do the same when she sees her first snow.

My daughter is a good daughter.
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