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Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
One week. 
29th-Aug-2013 09:49 am
Elayna 2013
Things we don't have to buy anymore
1. Grape juice
2. Chef Boyardee
3. Easy Mac

Bash
spent the first two days sprawled on her bed, forlorn. Spent the next two days on mine. Now he just follows me.

Silence
There is no muffled anime soundtrack coming from her room, no creak as she shifts on her bed to get a better drawing position, no sounds of typing save my own.

Distance
My daughter is at the end of an internet connection, sometimes. I see the green ball that indicates her presence on Gchat. I watch it, hoping. Sometimes she pings me with "my floor is playing Apples to Apples!" or "it is too hot in here"; sometimes I reach out with "how was class today?" but I'm trying not to do that all the time. Sometimes I just look at her name for a while.

Things I don't say
1. You have a 7:30 class; why aren't you in bed yet?
2. Are you brushing your teeth?
3. Did you do your homework?

Four
is the number of small crying jags I've had, and yes, I consider that a victory. Also a victory: the first one happened after we left her, as we were driving out the gates, when she couldn't see me.

Tasks
I set aside so much, and have been diving into those things ferociously. Every day a to-do list. Every day I finish the damn to-do list.

I have too much time.
Comments 
29th-Aug-2013 02:36 pm (UTC)
Things I don't say

I think you should say All The Mom Things in a single chat burst, all at once, just so she doesn't feel lost and not at home.

This is, clearly, the best thing to do. :D
(Deleted comment)
29th-Aug-2013 02:41 pm (UTC)
<3
29th-Aug-2013 03:41 pm (UTC)
Oh honey.
29th-Aug-2013 04:05 pm (UTC)
The distance.

I identify with that aspect, strongly. Every one of the friends I made in my 10 years in New York City is a green/red/yellow/grey icon, and the distance is immeasurably small and large at the same time.

*big hug*
29th-Aug-2013 04:16 pm (UTC)
The Things You Are Not Saying are very good things to not-say. And they are all things she will learn to do if she isn't already! (though the brushing teeth thing is not a good one to "learn the hard way" -- the only time my dad ever had a cavity was when he was in college!)

A 7:30 am class is ambitious! I am Bad-at-Sleeping, so I didn't take any morning classes my first semester. I knew it would be a giant waste of time/money, even if I managed to GET to the 8:30 am Physics class I wanted to take. I wouldn't have absorbed any of it.
29th-Aug-2013 04:53 pm (UTC)
All things considered, I think you're making a good start. You knew this wouldn't be easy, but remember also, you've raised her well. She will reach out to you, in time.

Probably for money, but still.
29th-Aug-2013 10:34 pm (UTC)
Mom solved the "what to do" problem when my brother left for graduate school by throwing her back out. Had to be in bed for six weeks.

You are doing far better.

Too hot and too late are part of the freshman experience.

30th-Aug-2013 06:47 am (UTC)
Bravo, madame. Imagine how much writing you'll get done now!
(Deleted comment)
30th-Aug-2013 01:57 pm (UTC)
*hugs*
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