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Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
Sex, after. 
13th-Jun-2013 08:26 am
"Wait!" I said, wobbly-voiced, and Michael stopped, just in time for me to burst into tears - full-body awful face-hiding trembling sobs. "I'm sorry," I gasped over and over. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry."

And he held me, and waited with me, and - only when he was sure I wanted him to - began again.

It was important for me to reclaim my body, to not have the last sex act be that. I didn't know if I was ready. He knew that my responses would be unpredictable. We were slow. Patient.

Later that evening, I had a smaller reaction. But we got me to the point when I didn't anymore.

We erased Judah from my body. We overwrote him. We did everything I had ever done with Judah and more, farther. New things.

We have overwritten him.
13th-Jun-2013 01:23 pm (UTC)
I read this.

I'm glad for you.
13th-Jun-2013 01:24 pm (UTC)
13th-Jun-2013 01:33 pm (UTC)
I'm very, very glad to read this. *kind hugs*
13th-Jun-2013 01:54 pm (UTC)
Overwritten. Yay!
13th-Jun-2013 02:04 pm (UTC)
13th-Jun-2013 02:07 pm (UTC)
These matters take time, and are never predictable. Keep on being good to yourself.
13th-Jun-2013 02:09 pm (UTC)
13th-Jun-2013 02:30 pm (UTC)
I read this.

13th-Jun-2013 02:33 pm (UTC)
Reading all the things. <3
13th-Jun-2013 02:41 pm (UTC)
I read this and it is good.
13th-Jun-2013 04:32 pm (UTC)
Files deleted.
13th-Jun-2013 04:48 pm (UTC)
13th-Jun-2013 10:23 pm (UTC)
Is it completely immature to think, "Neener neener neener!!!"?

It's your body and you're gonna do with it what you want to, dammit.

13th-Jun-2013 10:42 pm (UTC)
I love your "neener neener neener thought. LOVE it.

Having gone through my own version of these events I've grieved the lows and celebrated the highs along with you.

Still reading, still thinking good thoughts your way.
14th-Jun-2013 01:34 am (UTC)
<3 <3
14th-Jun-2013 02:10 am (UTC)
Read it and I'm glad you're starting in on healing. You would know better than I how long the road ahead will be, but I'll be walking along with you. :)
14th-Jun-2013 02:26 am (UTC)
I'm glad you're moving forward. I'm continuing to think good thoughts for you.
14th-Jun-2013 06:28 pm (UTC)
Don't be sorry. None of this/that is/was your fault -- and I'm glad that you have been able to overwrite him.

Confirm file deletion! :D
14th-Jun-2013 10:22 pm (UTC)
Fiercely good. You are supported and loved, and that is very, very good.
15th-Jun-2013 01:34 am (UTC)
Good for you. *hugs if you'd like them*
(Deleted comment)
16th-Jun-2013 10:32 pm (UTC)
18th-Jun-2013 12:52 pm (UTC)
This reminds me of a Thing that I cannot post to the interwebs for any reason... alas, for it was a good Thing.

But suffice to say, I know exactly what you're talking about. I will always be grateful for it.
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