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Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
6th-Jun-2013 11:23 am
My entire family is descending upon the house today for Elayna's graduation!

And Judah is coming over this evening to get some of his stuff.

One of the big frustrations is not knowing when he's going to get the *rest* of his stuff and therefore when we'll have the room back and available to rent. He has not paid his June rent.

The people he's been staying with are big-time gun people. He will be searched before he comes over.

I am so tired, y'all. I want this to be over. I want to fast-forward to the point when he's gone, where I can write again, where I don't have to spend all day on the phone with cops or lawyers or whatever.

This whole process is incredibly hard and confusing for me, and I know my resources. Imagine how much harder it is for someone who doesn't.
6th-Jun-2013 03:42 pm (UTC)
I just want to applaud your ability to say "I can't help all y'all process your reaction to what happened to me right now" because that is an important boundary.

Retweeting you:

The BARCC hotline is a good resource: If you need to talk, please call the hotline: 800.841.8371. for people with secondary trauma.

I am hoping someone will be in the hosue with you besides the cops when Judah comes.

You are handling this very well. Of course it is exhausting. It will pass, it will. We will help you hang in there.
6th-Jun-2013 04:23 pm (UTC) - Good Luck
I hope everything goes well.

And an extra big Cheer! for Elayna's Graduation.
6th-Jun-2013 04:51 pm (UTC) - Check on Mass. Laws on Forfeiture of Property
In Florida, the limit is 90 days after notice.

If after 90 days he has not returned to remove his property, his property is thusly forfeit and technically yours, then you can just put it to the curb or sell it or burn it.

I am sure someone else on your list familiar with that state can do a quick search for you.
6th-Jun-2013 08:14 pm (UTC) - Re: Check on Mass. Laws on Forfeiture of Property
I was going to make the same suggestion.

I don't remember if I said anything earlier, but I'm so sorry you're going through this, and if there's anything I can do to help all you have to do is ask. (Not that I can think of much you might need from a casual acquaintance a few hundred miles away.)
6th-Jun-2013 04:52 pm (UTC)
6th-Jun-2013 05:47 pm (UTC)
I don't know if you want advice on the "Clearing of Stuff" or not. If not, just accept the love and support and skip the rest. If so:

Years ago when AJ's first wife took off and left a large garage full of things, we looked into the legal options for getting rid of it. Basically, we got told this:

Hire a moving company. Have them box up everything and move it to either his address of choice, OR a storage facility that you pay for 30 days storage. You take those one or two receipts and you add it to the civil suit you are filing. If anything gets broken, he will have to contact the moving company. If his things are put in storage and he has had 30 days to get them and he doesn't, it is on him. You can check with the police if that is reasonable in Mass.
6th-Jun-2013 06:59 pm (UTC)
I would check with a lawyer, not with the police. The police don't always know the bits of the law that they don't enforce daily, and even then, they aren't always aware of things that can incur civil damages.
6th-Jun-2013 05:53 pm (UTC)
I'm glad the police will be searching him before he arrives. I congratulate you on having the foresight to alert them, and that they're taking your concern seriously.

I don't suppose there's some fast, convenient service that comes into situations like this, inventories his shit, moves it all into a storage container, and alerts him that he has a month to clear out the container or the storage company will put his shit in a dumpster? Probably not. I think consulting your lawyer on how long you have to tolerate the presence of his crap and what options there are for clearing it out of your space is totally appropriate, though.
7th-Jun-2013 04:21 am (UTC)
Good, quick, cheap: pick two. I'm sure if you had deep pockets, you could hire movers to do exactly that.

I was the "good, cheap" version for a friend of mine after she had a Departing Roommate Situation. My friend basically ignored the mess left in the ex-roommate's bedroom, because it was a room she didn't need to use... until mice decided they liked it. After she had the exterminator guy in, I came over to start the clearing-out. My friend checked the local abandoned-property laws and all that stuff was technically hers. We STILL alerted ex-roommate, who never responded. My fee for coming over to help was dibs on anything the roommate had left that I liked. Got a really excellent laptop bag and an Alivan's wand that way. :)

6th-Jun-2013 06:49 pm (UTC)
Congrats to Elayna!

Strength to you, through the family onslaught and the Judah encounter today. I sincerely hope that everything goes smoothly.
6th-Jun-2013 07:21 pm (UTC)
Toots: These two lines:
"My entire family is descending upon the house today for Elayna's graduation!

And Judah is coming over this evening to get some of his stuff."

Makes me wonder if J won't get more than he knows what to do with if he isn't on his best behavior.

You realize how many "safeties" would be there if you just make it known they're wanted? And also if you offer ice cream.

Edited at 2013-06-06 07:21 pm (UTC)
6th-Jun-2013 07:22 pm (UTC)
I don't want an overfull house... my family will be there, and one of my BARCC colleagues for emotional support.
6th-Jun-2013 07:57 pm (UTC)
What? No 400lb tattooed leather bikers sitting around nibbling ice cream? Okay, I guess.
6th-Jun-2013 08:00 pm (UTC)
You don't know my BARCC colleague. :)
6th-Jun-2013 08:13 pm (UTC)
Maybe so, but you don't know how "mean uncle" my friends get - especially when someone messes with "little sister" You may not want that ALL the time, but sometimes it can be reassuring. Anyway, love you and hope you get through this evening without realizing anything at all has happened.
7th-Jun-2013 12:23 pm (UTC)
He's living with big time GUN PEOPLE? Jesus Christ.

The good news here is that kittens earl grey tea GF chocolate cake writing pinterest lattés Elayna party dress DOUBLE RAINBOWS this too shall pass.</p>

Bam. You need a list of good things.

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