Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong



A thing that people should be aware of, since apparently my general air of competence makes people forget:

I am just now emerging from spending almost half a year watching loved ones die horribly. Very bluntly, yes, this is so. Jack got sick in July - yes, he was a cat, not a human, but he was a loved one, and I spent almost two months medicating and force-feeding him daily, crying, fighting for him, et cetera, and his death was devastating - and the very week we had to let Jack go, I got the news about my grandmother, whose symptoms were exactly the same. Which meant near-daily phone calls with her and my devastated mother, a high-stress visit at a terrible time, et cetera.

I just got back from my visit for her funeral a week ago Sunday. I've been struggling to catch up on stuff I'd had to let slide while they were dying. New stuff keeps popping up. My professional and social obligations are like hydras. I am trying really hard not to drown.

My to-do list for this week:

* Prioritize and schedule Arisia Lit Track panels - I am forced to wait for a last-minute thing that ain't my fault, and it has to be done by tomorrow. This will take several hours.
* Proofread Elayna's college essays
* Get Elayna to write her last four college essays (one down, three to go)
* Copyedit manuscript #1
* Copyedit manuscript #2
* Write post in pro-blog about Splinter
* Finish short story
* Write two poems
* Work on next story
* Thanksgiving planning
* Fight with doctor's office and pharmacy to get prescription
* Walk to town to pick up prescription

And yesterday alone I got three more requests for things that are huge demands on my time, and today I found out that I have to do a lot of stuff this afternoon that is not my job and does not benefit me at all.

I'm getting a lot of requests for large chunks of time and refusal to understand my response of "I don't know". I don't know because I'm dealing with a four-month backlog and several rush jobs and my daughter is applying for college this weekend and the Arisia thing is this week. I am in a week that I can't see past. I need it to be understood that it isn't possible for me to have any idea of how much time I'll have for Project X until this subsides, which is hopefully Real Soon Now.

And I really need everyone to understand and remember that the hideous maximum-stress agony of watching loved ones die every day for four months does not magically vanish the instant the last person dies. It takes the brain and body time to reset. I need a little leeway here.



On the bright side, yes, I finished a story, and I think it's pretty good and Adam agrees. And it is not depressing, for once this year; it is fun. So there is that!

  • Liminality #11!

    Liminality: A Magazine of Speculative Poetry Issue 11 Spring 2017 “The Well” – Alex Harper “Wild Cartography” – Alexandra Seidel “October…

  • Last night's Facebook post

    Because this is where he's sending people... If you are involved in a local consent discussion and are up on my page looking for a response to Judah…

  • Liminality #10!

    (“a well-beaten path does not always make the right road”, by Jenny Downing) Liminality: A Magazine of Speculative Poetry Issue 10 Winter…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.