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Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
*breathing* 
14th-Nov-2012 11:23 am
Hearth
Hi.

A thing that people should be aware of, since apparently my general air of competence makes people forget:

I am just now emerging from spending almost half a year watching loved ones die horribly. Very bluntly, yes, this is so. Jack got sick in July - yes, he was a cat, not a human, but he was a loved one, and I spent almost two months medicating and force-feeding him daily, crying, fighting for him, et cetera, and his death was devastating - and the very week we had to let Jack go, I got the news about my grandmother, whose symptoms were exactly the same. Which meant near-daily phone calls with her and my devastated mother, a high-stress visit at a terrible time, et cetera.

I just got back from my visit for her funeral a week ago Sunday. I've been struggling to catch up on stuff I'd had to let slide while they were dying. New stuff keeps popping up. My professional and social obligations are like hydras. I am trying really hard not to drown.

My to-do list for this week:

* Prioritize and schedule Arisia Lit Track panels - I am forced to wait for a last-minute thing that ain't my fault, and it has to be done by tomorrow. This will take several hours.
* Proofread Elayna's college essays
* Get Elayna to write her last four college essays (one down, three to go)
* Copyedit manuscript #1
* Copyedit manuscript #2
* Write post in pro-blog about Splinter
* Finish short story
* Write two poems
* Work on next story
* Thanksgiving planning
* Fight with doctor's office and pharmacy to get prescription
* Walk to town to pick up prescription

And yesterday alone I got three more requests for things that are huge demands on my time, and today I found out that I have to do a lot of stuff this afternoon that is not my job and does not benefit me at all.

I'm getting a lot of requests for large chunks of time and refusal to understand my response of "I don't know". I don't know because I'm dealing with a four-month backlog and several rush jobs and my daughter is applying for college this weekend and the Arisia thing is this week. I am in a week that I can't see past. I need it to be understood that it isn't possible for me to have any idea of how much time I'll have for Project X until this subsides, which is hopefully Real Soon Now.

And I really need everyone to understand and remember that the hideous maximum-stress agony of watching loved ones die every day for four months does not magically vanish the instant the last person dies. It takes the brain and body time to reset. I need a little leeway here.

*breathes*

Okay.

On the bright side, yes, I finished a story, and I think it's pretty good and Adam agrees. And it is not depressing, for once this year; it is fun. So there is that!
Comments 
14th-Nov-2012 04:32 pm (UTC)
A firm "NO" works better than "I don't know". Mention too few spoons, any reasonable person will get it. Triage.
14th-Nov-2012 04:33 pm (UTC)
*hug* thinking about you.
(Deleted comment)
14th-Nov-2012 05:08 pm (UTC)
I call it the Curse of Competence. ((hugs))
14th-Nov-2012 05:15 pm (UTC)
Good luck Accomplishing All the Things,

and the A-hole in me has got his back up, wondering exactly why it is you should have to go out of your way to choose language (read: manage other people's emotional responses) when people should just accept what you say.

But that guy's an a-hole.
14th-Nov-2012 06:40 pm (UTC)
I don't think that guy's an a-hole. I think it's perfectly reasonable to expect people to be responsible for their own emotional responses.
14th-Nov-2012 05:46 pm (UTC)
*hugs, and sweets, and silliness, ready on request*
14th-Nov-2012 06:03 pm (UTC)
Sending you good thoughts.
14th-Nov-2012 06:43 pm (UTC)
Goodness that's a lot of things to do in a short amount of time. I hope you are able to get it done with sanity intact! Even better, I hope someone else steps up to help you with things that do not *have* to be done by you.
15th-Nov-2012 03:50 am (UTC)
*hug* Hang in there.
15th-Nov-2012 05:17 am (UTC)
All my love.
15th-Nov-2012 05:54 am (UTC)
And I really need everyone to understand and remember that the hideous maximum-stress agony of watching loved ones die every day for four months does not magically vanish the instant the last person dies. It takes the brain and body time to reset. I need a little leeway here.

Yyyyyeah. It is traumatic in and of itself.

In related news, I found out today at the gym (where there are multiple screens playing network TV and DVDs over by the treadmills and such) that 4 years after watching my cousin die of cancer and leave behind a husband and toddler, I am unable to watch Steel Magnolias without sobbing. :(
15th-Nov-2012 12:49 pm (UTC)
And I really need everyone to understand and remember that the hideous maximum-stress agony of watching loved ones die every day for four months does not magically vanish the instant the last person dies. It takes the brain and body time to reset. I need a little leeway here.

All the leeway you want.
19th-Nov-2012 01:14 am (UTC)
[hugs]
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