Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong

Am I legitimate enough for you?

A few weeks ago, I posted about my experience of sexual assault and rape in my life, and the ways in which some of that sexual violence is not seen as a real thing or as a serious thing. I posted that, obviously, because to a lot of uneducated people, they don't think of those things as rape. Which, yes, they are.

When we do workshops at BARCC, we sometimes ask high-schoolers what they think of when they think of rape, and where they get those images from. What we usually hear is the back-alley stranger-rape scenario and various SVU episodes. And that's what people like Paul Ryan, Todd Akin, and Mike Huckabee are thinking of when they say things like "forcible", "legitimate", or "honest" rape. That scenario, which happens in only about 15% of rapes, is the only thing they consider rape.

So let's talk about the rape I didn't talk about in that post, the rape when I was 20, the one I said was more discrete in my head.

* I was literally grabbed off the street by a stranger and taken to his apartment.
* He had a gun.
* I went to the hospital and had evidence collected. There was a lot of evidence; there was no possible doubt in anyone's mind that a rape had occurred.

An honest, legitimate, forcible rape, in the terminology of the above jackasses.

And, y'know, add to that the fact that I was 20 and looked 15. I was small and delicate. I was blonde and blue-eyed. When people talk about the Model Rape Victim, that is what they are talking about: me at 20 and the bags and boxes of evidence, me giving my statement to the police in a shaky voice and insisting that I needed my dad. Zero ambiguity. Textbook. Perfect.

But I guess not enough.

Because I got pregnant.

So I guess, according to Akin, I guess my rape just wasn't legit enough. I guess the actual scenario that he would describe as rape, the only scenario he would describe as rape, is still not really rape in his eyes, because I did not secrete magical rape-semen-killing vagina-venom.

So yeah.

I know you all know. I know you all know that his statements are bullshit. I know you all know how damaging statements like that can be to someone who's experienced a less damn theatrical rape and is maybe still questioning whether she can call that rape, because the guy was a friend, or whatever.

Legitimate. Honest. Forcible. Fuck you.

I know at least six women who have become pregnant as the result of rape. We all have different stories. But all of us were really raped, whether fucktards like the above would agree or not. Some of these women had abortions, some gave their children up for adoption, some kept the children. But that is six women whom I personally know.

So yeah. I've been quiet on this one because it hits me in different ways than it hits most of y'all, and it hits me in ways I'm not used to talking about, and I have a lot of doubts about hitting the "post" button, but no, this is important shit.

You need to know that you know someone who got pregnant as a result of rape.

And if you tell people who think that doesn't happen that you know someone that it absolutely did happen to, and they ask a shocked "what did she do?", you can say, "she kept going, and she kicks ass."
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