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Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
Oh. That's what that is. 
12th-Apr-2012 08:58 am
Figuring shit out
I sat down too late last night and voiced my realization: "I have not been allowed to be anything but taskmaster and household bitch for months, and I hate it and I am so sick of it."

Because really. No fun ever. My life has been getting everyone to pack, move, unpack, work on budget, hang art, build things, organize, do house stuff, study for the SAT, take SAT practice tests, do college research, go on college tours... I've had zero time to do anything fun or indulgent, even so much as going for coffee or knitting. Every minute I have in the company of others is like "and now do this. And now do that."

Wow. I really hate this. I am exhausted from it. I have to find a way to get out of this cycle. But that way cannot be "just let there be piles of crap everywhere".

So we'll see.

I'm hoping people come to the house concert tomorrow night; I've had zero social time lately, and I really need it. Plus the band is good.

This weekend = a college tour and maybe hopefully some social time, and an IKEA trip on Sunday. I'm shuffling things around right now to try to allot time for Elayna to take a practice test and also allot time to get a little more done around here. We instituted a project hour on Sundays which ends up being 45 minutes of me reminding everyone that they promised to get off their asses and do house stuff and 15 minutes of halfheartedly doing stuff, then dispersing like a blown dandelion. What I really need is to have everyone's focus for like half a day. And then we could pretty much get everything done, and I could stop having this drawn-out stress all week and this list in my head of everything that needs doing.

So yeah. There's that.
12th-Apr-2012 01:21 pm (UTC)
Hmmm... maybe the way out is to take a big chunk of time and make a HUGE, all-encompassing "to-do list" for everyone (or each person) that they can just work from on their own without you having to tell them the next thing to do?
12th-Apr-2012 01:57 pm (UTC)
That, of course, is a job-and-a-half in itself. =:o\
12th-Apr-2012 02:02 pm (UTC)
It is, but the nice thing is that once it's done, it's done and everyone can just "get on with it." :)
12th-Apr-2012 02:05 pm (UTC)
Some of them are not self-starters; we've tried the to-do lists, but they don't work. :(
12th-Apr-2012 01:44 pm (UTC)
When I was a kid, I had no idea that giving orders is work, and I didn't understand it until I had to do some of it.

Do your housemates have any analogous experiences with being in charge that you can build on?
12th-Apr-2012 01:48 pm (UTC)
Good luck
(Deleted comment)
12th-Apr-2012 03:03 pm (UTC)
It drains so much mental energy and memory space.


I've scheduled housepainting for 4/21 - it's our only free day before the couch arrives. So we'll need to pick a paint color tonight. **nod**
12th-Apr-2012 04:27 pm (UTC)
Ooh! Couch is purple? Can't wait to see it all done :-)
12th-Apr-2012 05:24 pm (UTC)
Goddess-Empress of the Known Universe is a management role I don't envy. Wish I were able to come to the house party. :(
12th-Apr-2012 06:43 pm (UTC)
Yeah. Why is that way? It seems there is always someone in the house who fills this role and IT SUCKS. [Says the person who fills it in my house.]
21st-Apr-2012 01:48 am (UTC)
Honestly- dealing with piles of crap everywhere CAN be better than the constant- and ineffective- nagging.

ETA: for a good many years, J would spend more time complaining that I wasn't picking up after him than he spent picking up after himself. I kept pointing thi out every time he whinged.

And now- we live in clutter- but that's because we BOTH create it and NEITHER oF us is great at getting rid of it. Not ideal, but at least fair.

Addendum- if the other people don;t do their stuff "self-starters" or not- then you don;t do yours. This is especially effective when one is the cook. "I don't know what we'll do for dinner- I had to spend 3 hours doing X that is YOUR JOB because you didn't do it. So I had no time to think about dinner."

Personally, I provide dinner but accept chaos...but that's my call.

Edited at 2012-04-21 01:58 am (UTC)
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