I sat down too late last night and voiced my realization: "I have not been allowed to be anything but taskmaster and household bitch for months, and I hate it and I am so sick of it."
Because really. No fun ever. My life has been getting everyone to pack, move, unpack, work on budget, hang art, build things, organize, do house stuff, study for the SAT, take SAT practice tests, do college research, go on college tours... I've had zero time to do anything fun or indulgent, even so much as going for coffee or knitting. Every minute I have in the company of others is like "and now do this. And now do that."
Wow. I really hate this. I am exhausted from it. I have to find a way to get out of this cycle. But that way cannot be "just let there be piles of crap everywhere".
So we'll see.
I'm hoping people come to the house concert tomorrow night; I've had zero social time lately, and I really need it. Plus the band is good.
This weekend = a college tour and maybe hopefully some social time, and an IKEA trip on Sunday. I'm shuffling things around right now to try to allot time for Elayna to take a practice test and also allot time to get a little more done around here. We instituted a project hour on Sundays which ends up being 45 minutes of me reminding everyone that they promised to get off their asses and do house stuff and 15 minutes of halfheartedly doing stuff, then dispersing like a blown dandelion. What I really need is to have everyone's focus for like half a day. And then we could pretty much get everything done, and I could stop having this drawn-out stress all week and this list in my head of everything that needs doing.
So yeah. There's that.