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Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
Not a banner day for the Gojirawitz Girls 
22nd-Mar-2012 04:32 pm
Oh, bitchcakes.
I'll tell Elayna's first; it's funny.

Elayna has not been bringing her housekey to school. We tell her to. She does not. Today this had somewhat hilarious results, in that I was not home when she arrived. She rang both doorbells, pounded on both doors, wibbled extensively - and then remembered that we have a set of storm cellar doors on the side of the house, leading to a door into the basement suite. She managed to pry them open and get down there with only a little bit of paint in her hair.

Adam, please start locking all your doors.
Elayna, please bring your key!

Why was I not home? I was picking up my new glasses. Or so I thought.

My appointment was at 2:30. At around 2:45, the eye doctor came out and took my glasses - and spent fifteen minutes off in the back room with them, intermittently helping other patients.

This is about the time that I realize that being without my glasses for an extended period of time is seriously triggery to me, seeing as the only time I've been without them for longer than it takes to shower or fall asleep is when I was raped, and apparently my body still, 18 years later, really strongly associates these two kinds of helplessness. And it is genuine helplessness - I'm very close to being legally blind. I really cannot see past the end of my nose.

So I'm sitting there wrestling with panic and reassuring myself that I am perfectly safe, and the eye doc goes "whoops."

...he broke my frames.

He does not have my frames in stock.

I ran out of air for a second there.

"We'll figure something out..."

I managed to throttle back all of my immediate flail reactions and just remind him "You know how bad my prescription is - I really need to walk out of here with a pair of glasses today."

He agreed, and went to search for a pair of frames that might work - which is really hard, because I have multifocals, so the frames need to be a near-exact match. I panic-texted my guys, listing all of the things I can't do without my glasses - Tempest and Hunger Games, yeah, but also reading, writing, knitting, watching TV, taking a walk, anything. Being without glasses means sitting on the couch triggered and trying not to lose my shit for days on end.

He found a loaner pair that is hideously ugly and overlarge, but mostly works. My frames are discontinued, but there were a few pairs left in the warehouse, so those'll be here Monday. (But those only lasted a year or two, so I'll need to pick out another pair for when they break, which I hate.) So I'll need to adjust to these and then readjust on Monday. But at least I can see.

I had a hard time, y'all. I rushed out of there because I couldn't really talk. I walked home and listened to good music and laughed at my daughter's shenanigans and I'm doing better now, but I had a hard time.

Also, if you see me this weekend, no making fun of my glasses. :P This is temporary fug!
22nd-Mar-2012 09:42 pm (UTC)
*gets it*

Being without my glasses will bring on the panic attacks and the vertigo. I hate the feeling of helplessness, of having to depend on others to do for me, especially now that I am partially deaf. I hate that my husband has to wake me because I don't hear the alarm go off if I lay on my right side, as well, like this morning because he is out of town. I don't want to have to depend on others for such basic things. The vertigo has also been horrible for me because I feel helpless during an attack. As it often was accompanied by nausea and vomiting, there was nothing I could do but to ride it out. I would be completely defenseless if someone were to approach me. But most of all, being without glasses isolates me from others and traps me inside my head, in which I spend way too much time to begin with.

Anyway, I was vaccinated with a phonograph needle... the point is that the world is a much scarier place when you cannot see where danger might be coming from.
22nd-Mar-2012 10:21 pm (UTC)
23rd-Mar-2012 12:10 am (UTC)
Do you have any old (previous years' prescription) glasses at home that you can use in an emergency? In case something like this ever happens again?

I'd be close to utterly useless without glasses.

Edited at 2012-03-23 12:10 am (UTC)
23rd-Mar-2012 12:28 am (UTC)

I just got back from having my lenses changed out - and ordering frames for the sunglasses because my prescription no longer will work for some of the frame types anymore.

I've got cataracts forming on both eyes - and up to today, the left eye has been completely offline. Did not notice except for getting fatigued, went in and whoopsie. Lefty, you damn slacker.

So - someday, I will have surgery. And some day, this will go away.

In the meantime, I get to deal with sub-par sight until it just doesn't work anymore. FUN.
23rd-Mar-2012 12:47 am (UTC)
*hug* That does sound super-discombobulating, at the very least.

If you want a source for cheap spare glasses, I recommend http://www.zennioptical.com and http://www.firmoo.com. They do bifocals and progressive lenses, and as long as you don't care that it'll take a couple of weeks to get to you, they're great value. You just need to have the details on your current prescription, including your pupillary distance (ask the optometrist for that).
23rd-Mar-2012 01:37 pm (UTC)
Ugh sympathy. That must have been rough; I'm glad they did have some frames on hand that could take care of you after all.
23rd-Mar-2012 01:41 pm (UTC)
*nods* They're the wrong height for my multifocals, so I still have eyestrain, but yeah. So much better than nothing. I don't often think about how completely dependent I am on these things that can break...
24th-Mar-2012 04:25 am (UTC)
I know it won't help one bit for your current situation, but should you need a low/next to no cost backup pair for the future, coastalcontacts.com regularly does a free glasses promotion. I got my prescription sunglasses there- they ended up costing me $30, but I added extra features to them. They have an ongoing "first pair free" promotion, too, and the glasses are of good quality.

24th-Mar-2012 07:23 pm (UTC)
I've never had to go without my glasses for that long, but I don't think I could handle it well either, even without the rape association. I made a scene at a party once because I refused to be blindfolded for a game; SERIOUS trigger for helplessness in my wheelchair.
27th-Mar-2012 06:37 am (UTC)
Why she no carry house-key? If it's desire to not have it in clothes' pocket or around neck, maybe a pair of KangaROOS would encourage. The company is back in existence again.
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