Or just oversensitive.
See, during the sleep study, I was tracked as waking up several times. "But that wasn't long enough for you to be aware of it."
"...but I was aware of it. I just told you about all of those."
"Well, that's not a long enough period of wakefulness for a human mind to perceive."
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
MY NEW SUPERPOWER
I only should have registered one awakening. According to him. But the other times? I was just dreaming that I woke up, maybe? At the exact same time as the electrodes say I woke up? SPOOKY.
Spooky or bullshit. YOU DECIDE.
So yes. Since apparently it was clear that I did not want the thousands of dollars and several years of cognitive behavioral therapy, i.e. the problem he specializes in fixing, I apparently do not have any problem at all, try melatonin, maybe get to bed half an hour earlier, thank you, drive through.
He says my sleep quality (when I am not waking up or supposedly hallucinating that I am waking up at the exact same time as I'm waking up) is good, because I dream, but I should get more sleep. I personally would like to find a way to sleep without taking heavy doses of Lunesta every night, because that is actually really not good for you! But that's not his priority. I guess.
Such a wonderful use of my time.
So yeah, add "able to sense improbably short periods of wakefulness" to my list of detrimental superpowers, right next to "able to become severely nauseated by someone peeling an orange on the next block" and "OMFG NEW YORK WHAT THE HELL".