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Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
8th-Feb-2012 12:07 pm
While Adam was in Phoenix, Judah and I braved the wilderness of his bedroom to pack books (P-Z was in there!). Adam... hoards. It was like an archaeological dig, particularly techwise. Judah: "Adam has a Newton?!?"

I'm not like that; I'm famously organized, and my office is the tidiest room in the house by far. I am ISO-9000 compliant! You walk in here and everything is in a logical place. *nod*

So today I started to go through my file cabinets.

Oh. I'm a hoarder too. It's just less apparent, because my stuff isn't in teetering piles all over the room - it's neatly filed. But still. Oh my word, you guys, I have stuff from open enrollment for my work's health insurance from 2001. Neatly filed and labeled, mind you. But do I need a list of dentists in Atlanta? I do not.

A lot of this is going in the trash. Ideally I'll be able to go from three file cabinets to two. *determined nod*

But what's so telling to me is what's not filed, what's a huge wad of paper bristling out of the drawer.

Medical stuff.

We moved, as I've said, immediately after I got out of the hospital for that weeklong video EEG study. So the paperwork from that is just crammed in front. But it goes farther back than that. The epilepsy diagnosis was in 2003; the chronic pain that was later diagnosed as celiac disease emerged in 2006. Between then there was a paperwork storm. I have a file neatly marked "epilepsy", but the contents are meager - because immediately after that diagnosis, I went on the Hell Drugs, and I used all of the scraps of organization-brain I had left to desperately attempt to hang onto my job. Unable to distinguish between important information and trivial information, I filed everything. Every receipt from the pharmacy, every insurance approval or denial, every carbon-copy of a bloodwork order, every damn thing is in here, and I've kept up with my other files, but this drawer, I just haven't touched. This drawer of pain and fear, these piles of test results - endoscopies, biopsies, X-rays, bloodwork...

So much of this is going in the trash today. Because so much of it is just stuff that the Hell Drugs kept me from understanding; knowing that I couldn't think, I knew that I couldn't tell what might be important.

Getting off the Hell Drugs changed everything. If you didn't know me then - you just have no idea.

So as I'm moving this time, I'm only bringing what's important. Because now I can tell what that is.
8th-Feb-2012 05:30 pm (UTC)
So as I'm moving this time, I'm only bringing what's important. Because now I can tell what that is.

Yeah. Welcome back.
8th-Feb-2012 05:38 pm (UTC)
*hug* I am glad you are better. I am glad for your move, and I hope it will bring you as much joy as mine has.
8th-Feb-2012 06:02 pm (UTC)
8th-Feb-2012 06:07 pm (UTC)
Everything in my office is in a perfectly logical place. Especially the Newton.
8th-Feb-2012 06:28 pm (UTC)
Funny--I'm going through a similar purge. I didn't have time last time I moved, and discovered that there were piles of things in boxes that I'd found too overwhelming to sort through at the time. Now, bit by bit, I'm delving in. Sorting, shredding, filing, purging. I haven't the space in my little chick-cave to hang onto what's not important.

Happy to be joining you in the "now I can tell what is" club :-). I get it. I SO get it. It's cathartic, being able to see it, understand it, act on it, and clear crap out.

(And you get more room for cool stuff that IS important!)
8th-Feb-2012 06:38 pm (UTC)
If you are concerned about things going in the trash with SSNs and such like, we discovered, when we were doing my Big Purge O' Crap a few years ago, that there are shredding services that come to the house. Akycha just looked in the phone book, found one, and the guy came out and shredded my (ahem) 10 55-gallon drums worth of paper from the previous 20 years. We were just able to throw everything into bags, rather than sorting carefully to pull SSNs out (because SSNs were on EVERYTHING in the 80s and 90s OMG), and then he came, loaded them all into his truck, and shredded everything in front of us. It was $125 of awesome.
8th-Feb-2012 06:43 pm (UTC)
I did the same thing a year and a half ago—once for the move across the street, and then the fire-under-your-ass version for the move to Boston. I still hoard papers, largely over the guilt that I haven't been paying attention to the official mail, but if I had any particular attachment to material possessions before all his, it's largely gone now.

...Adam has a Newton?!?
8th-Feb-2012 06:54 pm (UTC)
Adam has an everything.
8th-Feb-2012 07:14 pm (UTC)
So does Amy. Right down to the Newton.
8th-Feb-2012 11:17 pm (UTC)
Newton, Newton everywhere.
9th-Feb-2012 03:18 am (UTC)
But does he have a Commodore?
8th-Feb-2012 07:41 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I did this when I moved to Canada. It's both scary and amazing.

(Re Hell Drugs: I got put on some when I was diagnosed with epilepsy last year, stopped taking them because of the side effects, and am now somewhat scared to go back to the neurologist >.<)
8th-Feb-2012 08:35 pm (UTC)
Mmm, yes. I remember those days.
8th-Feb-2012 11:36 pm (UTC)
I had a similar process a few years ago, only it was untreated depression and anxiety, not epilepsy, that kept me from being able to distinguish what was important from what wasn't. I ended up getting rid of five huge kitchen garbage bags of paper that wasn't important, and it was such a *relief* I had spent years in terror of the overflowing filing cabinets, certain there was something Very Important in there that I needed to deal with otherwise life as I knew it would end. And then I finally was able to go through and get rid of most of it I was able to shake all that anxiety off.
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