Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong


I was on a gluten-free recipe blog (like ya do), and I noticed that the blogger had a sidebar linking to GF menus and chain restaurants. Chili's has one! Cool! I downloaded it.

Okay. For comparison, here's their standard menu.

So their GF menu is not so bad! Not hugely comprehensive, but okay, I can eat there and have some good choices. I'll reproduce it below the cut.

SOUPS: Chicken & Green Chile, Sweet Corn

A FRESH TAKE ON SALADS: (All Listed w/o Dressing, Croutons & Tortilla Strips) BBQ Smoked Chicken Salad, Caribbean Salad Chicken option only w/Honey Lime Dressing, Chicken Caesar Salad, House Salad
SALAD DRESSINGS: Citrus Balsamic Vinaigrette, Honey Lime, Honey Mustard

FLAME-GRILLED GREATNESS: (All Listed w/o Condiments & Sides Unless Indicated) Classic Sirloin w/o Garlic Toast, Flame Grilled Ribeye w/o Garlic Toast, GG Salmon w/ Rice & Veggies, GG Sirloin w/ Veggies, Grilled Salmon w/ Garlic & Herbs w/ Rice & Veggies, Margarita Chicken w/Rice & Black Beans w/o Tortilla Strips, Monterey Chicken w/ Mashed Potatoes w/o Gravy & Veggies

SIDES: Black Beans, Corn on the Cob, Fresh Vegetables, Mandarin Oranges, Loaded Mashed Potatoes, Mashed Potatoes w/o Gravy, Rice

NEW TACOS WRAPPED IN FLAVOR: (All Listed w/o Cilantro Sour Cream) Tacos: Seasoned Ground Beef w/ Corn Tortillas ONLY

SLOW SMOKE IN-HOUSE RIBS: (All Listed w/o Sides) Original

BIG MOUTH BURGERS: (All Listed w/o Bun & Fries & O Strings) Bacon Burger, Ground Peppercorn Burger w/o Bleu Cheese Dressing, Mushroom-Swiss Burger, Oldtimer Burger

PEPPER PALS: (All Listed w/o Sides & Bun) Grilled Chicken Platter, Grilled Chicken Sandwich, Little Mouth Cheeseburger

SAUCES & EXTRAS: Avocado Slices, Bacon, Guacamole, Mixed Cheese, Original BBQ Sauce, Pico de Gallo, Salsa, Sautéed Mushrooms


Not bad, not bad.

But then I see that they have a soy-free menu, too! Awesome! I scroll to that, and...

...I'm not even gonna bother to cut this.

SOUPS: Sweet Corn
A FRESH TAKE ON SALADS: (All Listed w/o Dressing, Chicken, Shrimp or Steak) Caribbean Salad, House Salad w/o Croutons
SALAD DRESSINGS: No Fat Honey Mustard, Salsa
FLAME-GRILLED GREATNESS:(All Listed w/o Sides & Garlic Toast) Classic Sirloin w/ Nothing on it, Flame Grilled Ribeye w/ Nothing on it
SIDES: Corn on the Cob w/ Nothing on it, Fresh Vegetables w/ Nothing on it, Mandarin Oranges
SAUCES & EXTRAS: Avocado Slices, Bacon, Mixed Cheese, Original BBQ Sauce, Salsa, Sour Cream

Those? Are the only things you can get at a Chili's without soy. You can't get a burger. You can't get chicken. The chocolate shake has soy. The sauteed mushrooms have soy. The mashed potatoes have soy. I do not even understand *how* the soy got in half this stuff.

Y'all. Soy is a toxin. Also, a GMO nightmare. When I was first diagnosed with the soy allergy at 14, it was already hard to find prepackaged foods that didn't have soy. These days it's close to impossible, and getting worse. Soy is not compatible with human bodies, long-term, and it is in more and more things every year.

HOW IS THERE SOY IN THE SHRIMP, you guys. What is this I don't even. Notice that you can't even get plain grilled chicken - it's not in the marinade, it is in the meat. Or, well, "meat".

The foodpocalypse is coming, y'all. I will be over here in the corner rocking gently and eating food I cooked myself from safe unprocessed ingredients.
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