...we have no baking powder.
How the hell do we have no baking powder?
I checked the pantry, spice cabinet, gluten-free cabinet, nothing. No baking powder. What is this I don't even.
I throttled down my stress, took some deep breaths, and said fine. Chocolate-chip muffins. I have a muffin mix, just need eggs, milk, butter, vanilla, and chocolate chips, and of course I have all of those. (I stockpile the only soy-free gluten-free chocolate chips known to man. I have four bags of them. You would too.) I opened the box of muffin mix, grabbed a bowl, went to grab the butter..
...we have no butter.
This is the part where I primal-screamed.
We have a stub of butter; that's what I used to grease the tins. But I needed half a stick of butter. No dice. No butter. I tore the damn fridge apart. No. Butter.
HOW CAN WE BE OUT OF BUTTER THIS MAKES NO SENSE.
I fired off a tense e-mail to the guys indicating that somebody I don't care who needs to bring some goddamn baking powder and butter home when they get here. Sat down to read for about half an hour and got up at 2:30 to cut up the veg to go in the slow cooker at 3.
Okay, for one, butternut squash do not want you to cut them. Or peel them. They actively resist. Vehemently. Butternut squash is like "fuck you." The potatoes were fine; the carrots and parsnips were fine. The beets did not want to be peeled. The chopping took, all told, an hour and a half.
I am supposed to toss the vegetables in a bowl with the olive oil, salt, and pepper, and you guys, I do not know how this is going to turn out, because I did not have a bowl big enough. This is a lot of veg. I had to climb up and get the large crockpot from the cabinet over the fridge - which had apparently not been washed before being put away, so add in the damn washing of that - and still the pile of cubed vegetables o'ertops the crock. I mixed the oil and salt and pepper in as best I could, but this is by no means an even distribution. And it hit the crock an hour late. So. WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS. I think that next, fuckit, I'm just eyeballing the veg. Screw the recipe.
So my hands are cramping, my back is killing me, I want to scream, and I still don't get any rosemary polenta muffins, so fuck today right in the ear.