Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong

Some things you maybe should/would like to know about me + Sindrian

I've referred obliquely to the unprecedented ways in which sindrian's and my relationship has grown. We haven't been talking about this stuff on LJ for a few reasons - we didn't want to make his last few months in Cincinnati interpersonally awkward, for one, but even more important is that a lot of this growth and change happened while we were hundreds of miles apart, and we needed to be back in each others' presence again and reintegrate, see where we were, et cetera.

So we were lying in bed last night musing about one of these things about us that we think someone is unaware of, and I realized that we haven't really said any of these things yet. And we really ought to! They are large and relevant things!

This is not by any means an exhaustively complete list. There's stuff that's not for public consumption, and stuff we're still exploring the extent of. But here are some things that a) may affect how you interact with us and b) may be of general interest.

* It became clear to us toward the end of the fall, a few months in, that emotionally, we are primary partners. It is important to note that Adam and I are still primary partners and always will be! But I discovered that I was in a double-primary situation. This is one of the things that's definitely unprecedented! And something I never thought could work. But it does, I think in large part due to the very nature of my relationship with Adam, my relationship with sindrian, and how Adam and sindrian are with each other. I would not attempt this with anyone but these two. Don't try this at home, y'all! Since we realized this towards the end of the time we were physically in each others' presence, sindrian and I have needed a bit to figure this out. Him living with us for a few weeks has provided useful data. :)

* We are planning to all move in together after Elayna graduates high school. That's two years out, giving us plenty of time to save money and not disrupting her high school experience.

* We are fluid-bonded (I got an IUD and yes, we both got tested).

* Not just because of the above, but because of the unprecedented intensity of our relationship and the need to reintegrate after six months apart and explore what all of the growth in our absence means and manifests as, we are currently sexually exclusive with each other, current partners excepted. This is probably the most important part for our friends and potential ummfriends to know! We have a set date to reevaluate if we want to continue that or open things up, but as of yesterday, we still see ourselves as not interested in exploring new shiny yet. There's just... so much territory here to map that anything else feels like distraction, and we're very focused on figuring out what all of this means.

We have a lot of intensity here, and we're devoting a lot of energy to mapping our terrain, figuring this out. We sort of exploded out of nowhere and we are still learning; we've been together nine months, but 2/3 of that was long-distance, and a lot of the huge startling commitment things unfolded while we were long-distance! So just being is our focus right now.

So that is part of the great big stuff going on. Part of. There is more. Oh goodness gracious.
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