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Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
I'm not tired of this, actually. 
29th-Mar-2011 10:53 am
The scene: s00j's concert venue. Her three-person sound crew (who I've just met) and I are exploring. I let it slip that I have a teenage daughter.

Person A: "No way! How old?"
Me: "Sixteen!"
*looks of disbelief*
Person B: "So like you had her when you were five?"
Me: "No, I was 21."
Person B, looking genuinely confused: "But that math isn't working out."
Me: "I promise! 21!"
Person B: "But 21... and 16... is... 37?"
Me: "Yep!"
Person C: "Where do you keep it?!?"

That's now my favorite response ever. "Where do you keep it?!?"

I showed them that I have a little belly pooch, but they said that was insufficient. omnisti, when informed of this later, says that my response should've been "behind me".

Me, looking back at my butt: "I do have rather a lot there."
K: *affectionate eyeroll*
29th-Mar-2011 02:57 pm (UTC)
My mother was often the cause of such incredulity, although she didn't have me til she was 27. (I always thought I'd follow her on that path. Not so much)
29th-Mar-2011 03:08 pm (UTC)
If you're with me, you can just point to my gut (and I had someone who also doubted I had a kid that old the other week; apparently, my hair makes me look young).
29th-Mar-2011 03:09 pm (UTC)
You have insufficient grey. You need to get your Reed Richards on!
29th-Mar-2011 03:34 pm (UTC)
I've got two grey hairs in my eyebrows. It's a start.
29th-Mar-2011 03:43 pm (UTC)

Yay! ^_^
29th-Mar-2011 03:47 pm (UTC)
My response would be "in the attic, of course".
29th-Mar-2011 03:50 pm (UTC)
Belly pooch, your ass.
29th-Mar-2011 03:53 pm (UTC)
My ass, you say? ;)
(Deleted comment)
29th-Mar-2011 04:38 pm (UTC)
*open sarcastic tag*
I wonder why
*close sarcastic tag*

Edited at 2011-03-29 04:39 pm (UTC)
29th-Mar-2011 04:42 pm (UTC)
I support your continued use of this icon.
29th-Mar-2011 08:42 pm (UTC)
Continued use of this icon would make me very, very happy.
29th-Mar-2011 04:19 pm (UTC)
Hey, I said the same thing. :)

Would you mind dropping me an email? I don't have your email address and I have a question for you.

w e b AT vylarkaftan dot n e t.
29th-Mar-2011 04:20 pm (UTC)
While reading this, I was thinking "why would they want to know where she keeps her child?"
29th-Mar-2011 04:21 pm (UTC)
Although it would never happen now, I still fondly remember the 17-21 year olds in my acting intensive workshop demanding ID on the last day when the teacher mentioned I could play 10 years or so older or younger just by dressing me properly.

"He can't play 14?!?!? What the hell, man?"
29th-Mar-2011 05:20 pm (UTC)
I kept wanting to start talking about that weird portrait of you in the attic, but it was sufficient to giggle about it to myself. :)
29th-Mar-2011 05:44 pm (UTC)
What Emily said!

Also this is far more pleasant than the equivalent I've gotten a few times, which is "Soooo, are you the mom or the babysitter?" which mostly makes me want to stomp on people. Ew.
29th-Mar-2011 07:18 pm (UTC)
Haha. Cute!
29th-Mar-2011 10:54 pm (UTC)
I find that for me, my perceived age has a lot to do with my clothing choice and how nicely I've arranged my hair. Hair styled with a bit of product, and body-skimming clothes? "Miss." Hair a bit ratty, and large baggy sweater? "Ma'am."

And on that note, I have some clothes that pocketpolina gave me that I think would fit either you or Elayna better -- a Lip Service size small black hoodie with purple-leopard trim, a size small black-and-red Emily the Strange jersey cat cardigan, and a green velveteen blazer that fits me FINE in the shoulders but it's a petite and so if I were to wear it at all I'd have to put permanent lace cuffs on the sleeves, and it's maybe a little square for that, and it's also a bit shorter in the body than I like my blazers, so I think it might want to belong to you.
30th-Mar-2011 02:04 am (UTC)
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