Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong
shadesong

More answers.

question about my contract with Drollerie - answer is better suited to e-mail. I must remember to e-mail you!

question about whether I would date/have sex with a particular person; question not reproduced directly because of lots of identifying data

There are two answers to this one. One is an always thing, one is a "right now and for the foreseeable future" thing. I will give you both of them!

1. The always answer: I find it completely impossible to gauge romantic or sexual interest on the internets. Do I develop crushes? Oh sure. Does that translate into real-life attraction? Occasionally and very unpredictably. Being as I haven't met you in person, I really truly have no ways of guessing whether we'd have that zing, so this question isn't answerable. But at least I can tell you why it's unanswerable!

2. The "right now and for the foreseeable future" answer: Nope. And that actually goes for everyone. The thing is - sindrian and I are this incredible huge thing. This level of intensity in a relationship is vanishingly rare. And a) I don't know how far it goes and don't want anything to distract me from finding out and b) have really honestly had zero interest in anyone else, including people I've previously had a great deal of interest in. I've had recent offers that I'd've jumped at at any other time, but my reaction lately has been "Meh - I'm sure $PERSON is great, but s/he's not sindrian." I am too perfectly content with this intense new bond to look elsewhere just now. I'll probably say when/if that changes, but for right now, you can take it as read that I'm not going to be starting anything new - and it is really truly not you, it's me.

What is your picture of the ideal vacation?

My aunt and uncle in Florida own a house on an island. It is so completely separate from everything. I want to go there for a month and write. Yes, I know it's a working vacation. I don't think I've ever had a real vacation, and don't know what I would do with myself on one. (But maybe one day I'll talk Adam into going to Greece with me.)

What advice would you give someone new to poly?

Google Calendar. Okay, when you're done laughing: I AM FOR SERIOUS. Scheduling gets difficult. Share calendars among partners.

The other thing is communication. More than you're used to. More than that. Yep, keep communicating. Any big change in a relationship (I'm assuming you're already in one) is going to be a huge adjustment, and the people in that relationship might not even realize there are things that are bugging them unless asked. Ask. Discuss. Make sure everyone is comfortable with everything going on in the relationships. If anyone's not, hit the pause button and figure it out. Be clear about what you want, what you don't want, what you need, what you can't have. Full honesty, including with yourself.

You always recognize me and greet me jovially when we run into each other at cons or around Boston. I don't actually know you that well at all. From what I do know, you seem incredibly awesome, and I certainly don't mind the attention. My question is: are you just being polite, or do you actually enjoy my presence?

I am friendly! Also I recognize everyone - it's an artifact of having a faceblind husband and a boyfriend with what he calls "name-server failure". I have to keep track of everyone myself. :) (Also see my previous post wrt my multiple-track mind; I have over 150 named characters I keep track of in Shayara alone, so keeping track of real-life people is not hard.) Also I like people. People are made of stories.

The rest of your comment (not reprinted here) reads like possibly you are trying to determine if there is capital-I Interest? If so, see above re: me not having Interest for anyone I'm not currently dating or married to just now, but people I like like you, and thus I wouldn't be averse to hanging out and talking to you more!
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