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Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
Afternoon Miscellany 
10th-Mar-2011 02:49 pm
* I am terribly off-balance in the absence of sindrian. Word choice is deliberate - I achieved a balance with him here that is rare and precious. And he became such a big part of my daily life. I am just perpetually off with him not here. *sigh* He will come home soon, I know. I just wasn't expecting my everything to be so... reformatted around him! And his absence is a strange sort of absence - we chat so often on Gchat that it often is *almost* like he's here, but then elsetime I feel the tremendous absence of him.

* I have only just now realized why I freak out so much when things aren't where I put them. It is so very tied to the years when I had zero short-term memory. I've always been pretty organized, but I had to become obsessively hyperorganized in order to get anything at all done. Everything had to have a place and be in it, or I had no hope of ever finding it. This decidedly minor epiphany has been brought to you by knowing exactly where my concert ticket for tomorrow is because that is where all concert tickets go forever. (Upper left side of the fridge.)

* I need a haircut so bad you don't even know.

Picking up way late on the ten-days meme, day nine = Nine Things About Me.

1. I'm actual size, but I look much bigger to you. [h/t TMBG.] I'm 4'11", but am almost universally perceived to be much taller. To the point where people try to argue with me about how tall I am.

2. The sentence I utter that I hate the most is "I used to be a dancer." I want to get back to where I can call myself a dancer again.

3. I keep my hair long mostly because it gives me a choice about my gender presentation. My bone structure scans as male-ish, so without the hair (and with the hair pulled back) I scan as more masculine. From the neck up, because I have the tits-and-ass. Which I wish were removable. When they invent the bodymod that lets you shift gender presentation to match whether you're feeling more male or female that day, I am totally first in line. (Related to "I look male and young sans hair", don't think I wasn't tempted to try out for Alan in our local theatre troupe's production of Equus.)

4. I enjoy professional wrestling non-ironically.

5. I'm almost never not wearing something that was made by someone I know. Likewise with my decor. It's how I deal with living so far from so many people I love; there's always something of them with me, whether it's art or jewelry or music or whatever.

6. I do too much, and I'm not sure how to stop doing too much.

7. I have a cat on my arm.

8. Despite the fact that my breasts are not removable when the mood suits me, I actually really like my body the way it is these days. I am neither too-heavy-for-me nor scary-skinny; my legs, in particular, are strong and have muscle tone yay. Gendered socialization means it feels weird to actually be totally cool with my weight and general appearance. Oh, society.

9. I parse multiple tracks simultaneously, very quickly, and on multiple levels, to a degree that I'm only now beginning to realize is unusual.

#7 may be cheating, but really I almost always have a cat on me if I'm at home.
10th-Mar-2011 07:51 pm (UTC)
Regarding the haircut, check the calendar. You've got one scheduled a week from today.
10th-Mar-2011 08:11 pm (UTC)
Thank you, love! I shall persevere.
10th-Mar-2011 07:58 pm (UTC)
I am so totally thrilled to read that you like your body!! I have read you long enough to know about the drastic body changes you've gone through and how deeply affected you were by them, so that warms my heart. It indicates returning health, both emotional and physical.
10th-Mar-2011 08:09 pm (UTC)
My body has actually been fairly stable shapewise for a year now, so I finally feel like it's safe to get used to it!
10th-Mar-2011 08:13 pm (UTC)
Mazel tov!
10th-Mar-2011 08:07 pm (UTC)
HOW DID I NOT KNOW #4!??!?!?!?

(I always think of you as 5', actually.)

I don't understand what you mean by #9.
10th-Mar-2011 08:11 pm (UTC)
Dude, I don't know! I have spoken of this before!

(Maybe because you're not very tall yourself?)

#9 is hard to explain. I'm sussing it out, mostly with feste_sylvain. I seem to do more things in my head simultaneously that most, to the point where I have to fill multiple tracks of my brainspace with things to keep myself busy.
10th-Mar-2011 08:13 pm (UTC)
Hmm.. I get that, I just wouldn't read "parse multiple tracks simultaneously" that way.

As for the second, I think it has more to do with "below 5'" is my sister in my headspace.

As for the first, this is sad-making, as we have missed the opportunity to geek out together on this.
10th-Mar-2011 08:20 pm (UTC)
I think she and I are the same height, aren't we?
10th-Mar-2011 08:58 pm (UTC)
She's a shade under 4'11"

Close enough.
10th-Mar-2011 08:49 pm (UTC)
I've never thought of you as 'presenting as male' no matter what length or color your hair was.
10th-Mar-2011 08:55 pm (UTC)
That would be because you've never seen me presenting as male. Or with short hair.
10th-Mar-2011 09:47 pm (UTC)
This is an important point. When do we get to see you presenting as male?
10th-Mar-2011 09:51 pm (UTC)
Seeing as you are nonlocal? When I get a photo shoot.
10th-Mar-2011 10:00 pm (UTC)
Well, it should be photo, so that all can see it. :)
10th-Mar-2011 08:53 pm (UTC)
On 3: Can I be second in line?
11th-Mar-2011 02:38 am (UTC)
Dibs on third!
10th-Mar-2011 09:22 pm (UTC)
* I need a haircut so bad you don't even know.

You and me both. I am at full-on Haystack status at the moment.
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