* I am terribly off-balance in the absence of sindrian
. Word choice is deliberate - I achieved a balance with him here that is rare and precious. And he became such a big part of my daily life. I am just perpetually off
with him not here. *sigh* He will come home soon, I know. I just wasn't expecting my everything to be so... reformatted around him! And his absence is a strange sort of absence - we chat so often on Gchat that it often is *almost* like he's here, but then elsetime I feel the tremendous absence of him.
* I have only just now realized why I freak out so much when things aren't where I put them. It is so very tied to the years when I had zero short-term memory. I've always been pretty organized, but I had to become obsessively hyperorganized in order to get anything at all done. Everything had to have a place and be in it, or I had no hope of ever finding it. This decidedly minor epiphany has been brought to you by knowing exactly where my concert ticket for tomorrow is because that is where all concert tickets go forever
. (Upper left side of the fridge.)
* I need a haircut so bad you don't even know.
Picking up way late on the ten-days meme, day nine = Nine Things About Me.
1. I'm actual size, but I look much bigger to you. [h/t TMBG.] I'm 4'11", but am almost universally perceived to be much taller. To the point where people try to argue with me about how tall I am.
2. The sentence I utter that I hate the most is "I used to be a dancer." I want to get back to where I can call myself a dancer again.
3. I keep my hair long mostly because it gives me a choice about my gender presentation. My bone structure scans as male-ish, so without the hair (and with the hair pulled back) I scan as more masculine. From the neck up, because I have the tits-and-ass. Which I wish were removable. When they invent the bodymod that lets you shift gender presentation to match whether you're feeling more male or female that day, I am totally first in line. (Related to "I look male and young sans
hair", don't think I wasn't tempted to try out for Alan in our local theatre troupe's production of Equus
4. I enjoy professional wrestling non-ironically.
5. I'm almost never not
wearing something that was made by someone I know. Likewise with my decor. It's how I deal with living so far from so many people I love; there's always something of them with me, whether it's art or jewelry or music or whatever.
6. I do too much, and I'm not sure how to stop doing too much.
7. I have a cat on my arm.
8. Despite the fact that my breasts are not removable when the mood suits me, I actually really like my body the way it is these days. I am neither too-heavy-for-me nor scary-skinny; my legs, in particular, are strong and have muscle tone yay. Gendered socialization means it feels weird to actually be totally cool with my weight and general appearance. Oh, society.
9. I parse multiple tracks simultaneously, very quickly, and on multiple levels, to a degree that I'm only now beginning to realize is unusual.#7
may be cheating, but really I almost always have a cat on me if I'm at home.