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Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
Friday! 
22nd-Oct-2010 07:55 am
Hearth
Administration
Happy birthday to techempage!

Happy early birthday to karnythia, dabroots, and kenakeri, who advance a year over the weekend!

State of the 'Song
Ankle is the same. But I've had two full nights of sleep in a row, which is helping on other fronts.

Why I Can't Get Behind Dan Savage's "It Gets Better" Project
Because he's a victim-blaming asshole. (I'm with LC here. Warning: the comments to LC's post are moron-infested.)

Support the We Got Your Back Project instead!

Link Soup
* Poem of the day.
* Willow Smith's debut video. This is what you get when you don't oversexualize little girls in music videos, and it's lots of fun.
* Weirdest "sexy" costumes. I do not know why they did not include Sexy Chewbacca. But I actually want the Arisia costume. To wear to Arisia. Because meta. EDIT: You guys. This site. Sexy George Washington. WHUT.
* There's a response on the Apex blog. My instinct here is "yeah, still not understanding the problem," but I do not have the time and energy to unpack it for people who aren't getting it; already I have to write a response to that damn Dan Savage thing for the BARCC blog, and that's eating my headspace.
* Random question - do any of you have access to Neurologic Clinics Magazine? Because I want to read the epilepsy issue, but I don't want to subscribe. (Why can I not just buy a single issue? Grr.)

Daily Science
Experiments performed with the exotic nucleus tin-101, which has a single neutron orbiting tin-100's closed shell of 50 protons and 50 neutrons, indicate an unexpected reversal in the ordering of lowest states in the nucleus. The finding appears to violate a standard scenario offered by the nuclear shell model that has been the cornerstone for understanding the atomic nucleus for more than half a century.

Friday Memeage
Wearing: Jeans, heathery green sweater, sacred heart knee-high socks, ankle brace.
Reading: I Shall Wear Midnight by Terry Pratchett and Denial: A Memoir of Terror by Jessica Stern, our keynote speaker at BARCC's Champions for Change Gala, which is next week and damn I need to get my dress taken in and I am running out of time. Cryoburn by Lois McMaster Bujold is sitting next to my computer whispering "Reeead meeee..."
Writing: No chance this week argh.
Knitting: Same shawl and blanket. At least being couchbound means I'll get more knitting and reading done.
Planning: Well, the ankle has thrown my plans a bit sideways.
Today: Work, home, rest. Anniversary dinner at Small Plates. *crosses fingers that she can get from the Harvard Square T station to Small Plates without too much pain*
Tomorrow: The party I was planning on attending involves a lot of stairs, so that may be off the table. I am invited to two separate knitting things, one of which I may go to; maybe then feste_sylvain and I will try to see RED again (the film caught fire last time). Either way, I spend the night with him, yay. :)
Sunday: My actual anniversary! Adam and I have not made official Plans for anything. Beyond tonight's dinner, which is tonight because the restaurant's not open on Sundays.
Comments 
22nd-Oct-2010 11:58 am (UTC)
Favourite 'sexy' costume I saw recently: Sexy Queen Elizabeth the First. I boggled.
22nd-Oct-2010 12:02 pm (UTC)
Please tell me you have a link to this, for I must see it.
22nd-Oct-2010 12:05 pm (UTC)
Happy Anniversary!
22nd-Oct-2010 12:15 pm (UTC)
pssst, don't forget The We Got Your Back Project I'd love to have a contribution from you.
22nd-Oct-2010 12:21 pm (UTC)
Yes! Will add. And I'll have to see what I have to offer there...
22nd-Oct-2010 12:24 pm (UTC)
I've always had problems with Savage's blaming of victims and how he has always made a point of belittling people who ask him for help (it's been one of his default columns as long as I've known his work, which I admit I rarely read), but the "It Gets Better" campaign (and even some of Savage's comments about it) have taken on enough of a life of their own that I'm in favor of the campaign and am even willing to concede that he's done something right.

(Then again, I should also take stock of myself and confess that shoddy writing that takes the easy way out that happens to consistently mock the people who write him for help is what bothers me most. His incompetence as an advice columnist is quite manifest, but I find his incompetence as a writer in general even worse. I could certainly support bad advice if it were written well, at least in some contexts (though I realize that last bit is a ymmv, I just felt that leaving it out made me sound better than I deserve to sound on this particular issue).)
22nd-Oct-2010 01:36 pm (UTC)
I kind of agree here. I don't like everything he's done, but I don't think it negates the good he's trying to do with this. Being a "good guy" in general doesn't excuse shitty behavior, but likewise I don't think being an asshole in general negates good behavior, either.
(Deleted comment)
22nd-Oct-2010 01:07 pm (UTC)
Yeah. I mean, I can see some merit to the underlying "your claimed primary relationship is disintegrating, if that's really primary you need to focus on that" argument, but he's being such a monumental jerk.
(Deleted comment)
22nd-Oct-2010 12:52 pm (UTC)
Happy annimaversareeeeeeeee!!!!

I saw the thread on Shakesville last night. Threw up in my mouth a little. (Actually, not a little, either.) The level of fail was one thing, but the glee he took in that fail was disgusting.

That and the Jeff Perry thing make me wish I had bad-ass superpowers and a license to use them.
22nd-Oct-2010 01:08 pm (UTC)
Oh, and song? Not overly-fond of you calling some of my friends morons.
22nd-Oct-2010 01:30 pm (UTC)
They're saying some pretty breathtakingly moronic things, though. So yeah, I get that saying moronic things does not automatically equal moron, but the things said in particular are indicating that the people in question really do not possess any intelligence. I've held off on commenting there because I can't think of anything to say that might get them to listen; they strike me as willfully clueless or sociopathic or both.
22nd-Oct-2010 01:39 pm (UTC)
For all your sexy costume needs, go see Uncle Nick at Girls' Costume Warehouse!
22nd-Oct-2010 02:31 pm (UTC)
"and frog." I had totally forgotten about this! Thanks! :-D
22nd-Oct-2010 01:47 pm (UTC)
I don't know whether to be horrified or turned on by that Sexy Washington costume.
22nd-Oct-2010 02:36 pm (UTC)
I am totally liking the Sexy Washington costume!

I'm not so much into the Sexy Ringmaster next to it. I much prefer Britney Spears's take on a sexy ringmaster costume (http://www.costumzee.com/view/2009/06/12/britneys-circus-makes-its-second-round-oh-the-costumes/)

Edited at 2010-10-22 02:36 pm (UTC)
22nd-Oct-2010 01:59 pm (UTC)
Costume stores are even selling a sexy Olive Oyl.
Talk about oxymoronic.
22nd-Oct-2010 02:01 pm (UTC)
And I cannot seem to find a traditional Alice in Wonderland, argh. It's not that I don't want to show my body, it's just that that's not Alice!
22nd-Oct-2010 02:02 pm (UTC)
I like the Tootsie Roll costume--you have to actually think a tiny bit for it to be very sexy (I mean, it's got a short skirt and all, yes, but "how many licks...?")
22nd-Oct-2010 02:04 pm (UTC)
Wearing: jeans that are definitely too big (I really need to buy new jeans that fit this winter, argh), gold-ish tan sweater from J-Jill, Bead for Life bracelet made by my Mom, goldstone ring, my great-grandmother's gold swirly chain.
Reading: Wolf Moon by Charles de Lint. I'm almost done. Can't decide what to read next. I've been on a sci-fi/fantasy kick recently, so I venture over to the library to find something of a different genre. And I need to finish my damn 1st degree books already.
Writing: stuff for work, as usual.
Planning: Tonight - staying in and saving spoons for tomorrow. So, chilling at home with a movie, etc. Dunno if my boy will be joining me.
Tomorrow - helping discipuladc move into her new apartment. Then, Cassandra Syndrome is playing in Burtonsville! They've been a favorite band of mine for years, but I recently became friends with the bassist, which makes this extra fun to go to.
Sunday - no plans of yet. Probably recovery from Saturday and working on job apps, mostly.
22nd-Oct-2010 02:39 pm (UTC)
I think I broke something with the Yandy.com sexy costumes-there was a Sexy Willy Wonka which really made me laugh till it hurt.

My buddy speedlime and I went to one of the Halloween stores here in MD and saw a "Sexy V for Vendetta" costume as well as the "Sexy Burlesque Vampire" costume.

(There were of course the usual cavalcade of racist/sexist costumes which made it less hilarious:/)
But "Sexy V for Vendetta?!"
22nd-Oct-2010 03:06 pm (UTC)
22nd-Oct-2010 05:17 pm (UTC)
the Arisia costume

See, I looked at that and went "sparkling wide pressure what?"

I fail at Western comics.
22nd-Oct-2010 06:44 pm (UTC) - RE: Savage
Savage Love is billed as 'savage advice'. It's a column predicated on the idea that he's going to give the hardline, rough, brutal truth (as he sees it) answer. Does that always work? No. Do I always agree with it? Definitely not. But people write to him to get a hard smack, not to get a loving pat - and they know it.

Now, on the one hand in this case, I see the POV people are looking from. I am a survivor of abuse, and his behavior is pretty wildly harsh. On the other, I dated a girl in college who would use me for sex and then pretend it didn't happen, citing her PTSD as her get out of jail free card. It really does happen, and it hurts when it does. Is that happening there? I really don't know, but I know the woman wrote to an advice column based on the idea of being harsh, so she wasn't looking for huggles, or if she was, she hasn't been reading.

Though he says a lot of things in ways I don't agree with, I personally see truth to the central message - if your primary relationship is dead in the water, you need to cut ties with it, or work on fixing it. It is really harsh for someone you're supposed to be a primary with to suddenly cut you out but still keep you tied to them.

---

All that aside, the It Gets Better project has had a huge effect, and I really dislike the idea of dissing a project as important and influential as that just because the progenitor did something else I didn't like. THOUSANDS of people have contributed, and most of them could care less about Dan Savage. It's about the people they're making vids for - I should know, I made one.
22nd-Oct-2010 06:56 pm (UTC) - Re: Savage
Yeah, I'm not so fond of the "He's an asshole, they should know that" defense.

I mean, I do sort of get it, because he is. (And has a record of "You owe your partner sex and should make sure you're doing that" as a default position.) There's still gradations between "tough love" and "asshole" though.

Also, I always wonder what he cuts out of letters that might provide more context, and how often that supports his position or how often in undermines it.
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