Getting triggered during emergency oral surgery.
The brief summary because dental stuff can be triggery for people anyway: he would've sent me to an oral surgeon had the oral surgeon been open, because I really *needed* the oral surgeon. But I needed immediate care more. And it was a very difficult extraction by *his* standards, not just mine.
About an hour into the procedure, I remembered very very acutely the last time the corners of my mouth had been stretched like that. It was during the rape when I was 20, when I was gagged with a tube sock. I remembered this very. fucking. acutely. Breathed through it, fought through it. But I'm still shaking.
This is the filler text so if you want to see about the procedure but not the thing what triggered me, you won't see it by clicking on the next cut tag. Because I care.
Dentist was surprised that I knew that what was being numbed was my trigeminal nerve. Because apparently that's secret PhD knowledge. Seriously, I got the dead stop, narrowed eyes, and he asked all suspiciously, "How do you
know that?" What, I don't look like someone who knows about the nerves in my face? Is it the hair? I don't know.
I have Vicodin. And antibiotics. And an icepack and a wad of gauze. I have about eight zillion things I have to do tonight. I'm shaking like a chihuahua on espresso. How are you?
He essentially had to break the tooth out of my mouth. Again and again and again. Heavy pressure and SNAP over and over. Lecturing me the whole time, when he wasn't muttering to himself. And you can hear and feel your tooth breaking, just so you know. It is fucking arduous. Fucking arduous.
An hour and a half.
I was in full-body clench for most of it, so I'm sure I'm going to be full-body achy tonight.
No exercise for 24 hours. I'm like oh that works fine because I don't have to be performing onstage for another 29 hours hahaha
. Although actually there's rehearsal. Ha.
Hi guys. So today sucked. How's by you?