Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong

Blogathon: Cicatrix

It is spring, and you admit that you are in love.

Admitting that you are in love is scary, not least because you feel like you are declaring that you deserve love, and you have felt your whole life that you do not deserve anything good. But here you are and here he is, and it is undeniable. It's far too strong to try to fight.

You are in love.

You are allowed to be in love.

When you were thirteen, Jason told you that he was your first boyfriend and would be your last. You carried that with you all these years, the sure knowledge that, no matter what, he would come back for you, take you from whatever you you had made. It kept you from letting yourself feel - because why open yourself up when you know you can't stay? When you know he'll be coming for you.

The moment you admit that you have fallen in love with Aaron is the moment the last part of you that did not believe Jason was really gone




And you were lighter than you had ever been.

Spring Ferns scarf by settecorvi. Anne Hanson's Fernfrost in Knit Picks Shadow, Spring Green colorway (laceweight merino wool).

Oh hai bitchslap of exhaustion. I can haz third wind plz?

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Tags: blogathon.2010, cicatrix

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