You have always felt restless in winter. You come from a place without a winter, so it always feels eternal to you - a mantle of grey and white and ice and knife-edge cold. You'd run from place to place to get out of it, but so much cold so quickly down your lungs makes you cough and gasp, makes it all worse, so you trudge and shiver.
Aaron teaches you how to layer properly, and importantly for the two of you, how to layer properly for dancing, which has become your favorite winter pasttime - you heat up quickly, and you have learned to dance as you did when you were a child, before you were Jason's, before you danced for anyone but yourself.
The most surprising thing is that there is a two-of-you. Nothing has lasted this long before. You had grown accustomed to one-night stands or fleeting relationships. You had grown accustomed to people running when you woke in the middle of the night curled in on yourself and struggling to keep from screaming, or when you told them more about your childhood. Aaron did not run.
He woke you one night himself - back rigid, shallow gasps. You stroked his back until he came out of it, until he realized where he was, that he was safe; he curled around you, his hand to your heart, and you both slept the rest of the night.
It is winter, and you are walking down the street with your boyfriend, gloved hand in gloved hand, knit-capped and wool-coated, a place you never thought you would be in so many different ways.
And you are trying to be content.
You are happy. You have moments of intense happiness that shock you, rock you back on your heels from the sheer surprise of them. But you are restless as well. You can't stop thinking about Kai.
You haven't told Aaron about her offer.
You haven't told Aaron about her at all.
Feather and Fan cloche by crewgrrl. The green is Knitpicks Stroll in Pine (75/25 wool/nylon), the multi is Cherry Tree Hill in River Run (80/20 wool/nylon). It is an adorable homage to 20's fashion sensibilities in a hat that may actually keep your ears warm.
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