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Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
Odin's Day 
24th-Jun-2010 07:15 am
State of the 'Song
This category replaces Medical, because this year, for the first time in seven years, I don't have daily pain/fluctuations/nasty side effects to chronicle for doctors. Y'all, if you have any chronic pain and fatigue, ask for the blood test for celiac. If you do have it, going off gluten is a total life-changer. Also I am loving Gabitril as an anti-seizure med; I've been on it for a year now, and if I'm having any side effects, they're so mild compared to what I had on other meds that I'm just not noticing. The Gabitril's probably responsible for my continued fatigue (which is much milder than my previous fatigue, which would not be hyperbolic to describe as crippling); all anti-seizure meds have that as side effect #1. But I can walk a straight line, finish a thought, read a book; I do not have double or scrolling vision, I do not feel drunk for hours after taking my medication, et cetera.

So state of the 'song today = slightly underslept; woke up at 3 and 5. Also missing my daughter. When I woke at 3, I went to the bathroom, and just beyond, there was her door, hanging open. *sigh*

Elayna Is
in Newark, buying the stuff she and Adam forgot to pack yesterday; mostly toiletries. Must text Mom that she left her hat. She's flying out to Israel today, and will arrive around midnight my time.

Her being gone for 11 days provides me an opportunity to buckle down and get some work done. So if I say "Can't do lunch, gotta write!" - you are prepared. I have the flash/poem commissions to do first, and hopefully something csecooney told me to write last Readercon. And something for upstart_crow. Basically I'd like to get short fiction/poem committments handled while she's in Israel so it'll be all novel all the time when she's at Explo.

A Question
What would you want to see me offer in a charity-auction community? What would you bid on from me?

I Love This Post So Hard
Autonomy, by Silvana @ Tiger Beatdown. "But no. Just, no. I am not a slave to trauma. I am grown. I have chosen this. Because sometimes there is no rhyme or reason for why people do the things they do, and giving even one of the people who hurt me the power to determine my life is too much already. I respect what Jessica Stern has to say about the healing that understanding her PTSD has brought her. But I can’t forget that feminism taught me that there isn’t always a reason. I don’t do this work because I am damaged and trying to avenge some other injustice. I do it because this is who I am: I identify with the underdog. I am motivated by challenge; the harder and more intractable a problem seems, the more I want to solve it. It may be comforting to think that there are reasons for the choices we make, but we also have to embrace that there is chaos.
I am not pre-determined. I have autonomy, and I chose this road. And I will choose to choose, and not be chosen."

Yes yes fucking YES.

I am a social justice superhero (I fight crime!), but also there is more than a little bit of engineer in me. I see a problem, I start working on solving it. Rape culture is a problem. Okay then, brew up some coffee and hand me my sword, let's get to the bottom of this. That's who I am. That's who I always would have been, I think, trauma history or no. In my prehistory before I had a trauma history, my parents said I looked like I'd've made a great lawyer - but that's more because I was persuasive and logical than for any prekindergarten fascination with lawyering. Persuasive and logical: That was me at 3. This has always been me.

Link Soup
* Zoe Keating's new album is streaming for free. (My pre-ordered CD is hopefully en route.) YOU GUYS, "Escape Artist" trips my choreographer wires so hard. "Lost", too, especially the pizzicato part.
* heavenscalyx is doing a series of posts about neurobiology! This is Relevant to my Interests, and perhaps to yours as well.
* Speaking of neurology, I love amberite's post about the Doctor Who episode "Vincent and the Doctor".

Daily Science
For the first time, scientists have determined the absolute mass of an exoplanet. And the new technique they used revealed high winds in the atmosphere of Osiris, a Jupiter-like planet orbiting a star 150 light years from Earth.

I'd like to say I'm going straight from work into Intensive! Writing! Mode! but realistically, I need to get my house in order today so I can focus on writing tomorrow. So today is cleaning - including some of her areas - and taking care of all of these action items in my tabs, like gathering all of the reviews of "Valentines", ordering yarn to finish the second Blogathon knitting project and do the third, shelving Elayna's books and stripping her bed, et cetera. Mundane, but I'll play the new Zoe Keating album and dance while I'm doing it.
24th-Jun-2010 11:41 am (UTC)
I hope Elayna has a wonderful time! Happy wriring!
24th-Jun-2010 12:11 pm (UTC)
for the first time in seven years, I don't have daily pain/fluctuations/nasty side effects

Oh hell yes. I'd been meaning to ask how GF was treating you. Yaaaay!
24th-Jun-2010 12:52 pm (UTC)
Great news about "Medical" getting retired!

There's something I want to put a finger on about asking why people do what they're doing-- it's as though what they're doing is unlikely compared to something else, though I'm not sure what. Making the most money with the least effort? No one would ask why you were doing that.
24th-Jun-2010 01:11 pm (UTC)
Goodbye, Medical. Glad to see ya go. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out! (Isn't is something when all of a sudden your body isn't the constant enemy? Squeee!)

Funny, I liked Jessica Stein's op-ed AND the "autonomy" post. I feel enlightened and empowered every time I read ANY intelligent revelation about the experience of surviving trauma. All worthy pieces of the puzzle, IMHO.

BTW, sending you hugs while you miss your wonder child. She's going to be fine. So will you. (I'd bet you a batch of my grandmother's Scots shortbread recipe on it, but the gluten would NOT help, so I'll work on finding a suitable alternate batch of YUM to cover my end of the bet.)
24th-Jun-2010 01:15 pm (UTC)
Oh, I like Stein's piece, too! But Silvana's made me go YES because at best, people assume that I *wouldn't* be doing this work if I didn't have a trauma history, and at worst, I have been called a "professional victim". (To which I say fuck you, the job description is superhero.)
24th-Jun-2010 01:26 pm (UTC)
I couldn't agree more. The idea that everybody who, for example, works for victims' rights or trauma counseling or &c. has what TV Tropes calls "Rape as Backstory"--actually, more accurately, the implication that the backstory is why they do it--is just plain wrong, and kind of dangerous to boot.
24th-Jun-2010 01:31 pm (UTC)
And that should be "MS. Superhero" to anybody who'd call you a "professional victim." People can be such weenies.
24th-Jun-2010 01:29 pm (UTC)
I read and loved Silvana's article. Especially the last paragraph.

Thanks for the link, and keep fighting the good fight.
24th-Jun-2010 01:55 pm (UTC)
I much prefer the State of the 'Song. :)
24th-Jun-2010 01:57 pm (UTC)
Found your bag, btw! You must've hung it on Elayna's chair, because it got moved up to her room with the other Target bags hanging from her chair.
24th-Jun-2010 02:03 pm (UTC)
Naturally, the one room we didn't search. :P

I suppose I'll have to come down and get it sometime soon...
24th-Jun-2010 02:27 pm (UTC)

This category replaces Medical, because this year, for the first time in seven years, I don't have daily pain/fluctuations/nasty side effects to chronicle for doctors

24th-Jun-2010 02:50 pm (UTC)
My son tested negative for celiac, but his symptoms went away when we removed gluten from his diet. I wanted to see if this was the cause and not just a coincidence where his symptoms went away on his own and I just happened to do that at the same time, so I secretly glutened him (if I had told him, he would have had a psychological reaction immediately). Within 24 hours, he was complaining of symptoms that had been gone for months. He may not have celiac, but gluten is definitely an issue for him. And I honestly would never have thought of it in the first place if I hadn't read it on your LJ. So thank you. :)
24th-Jun-2010 03:47 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad that helped! :)
24th-Jun-2010 03:57 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the link! I may keep the series going beyond the auction request, because I keep having ideas for topics. I forgot how much neuro stuff I wrote about in my last job.
24th-Jun-2010 06:33 pm (UTC)
Y'all, if you have any chronic pain and fatigue, ask for the blood test for celiac

My physical and mental health improved so. much. when I started eliminating corn products from my diet.
24th-Jun-2010 06:48 pm (UTC)
if you have any chronic pain and fatigue, ask for the blood test for celiac

Er... not sure "any" is the right word here. My diet likely wouldn't have any impact on the part of my issue cluster that comes from my buggered cervical spine. :/
24th-Jun-2010 07:29 pm (UTC)
Huzzah for being pain free!! Wooohoooooo!!!!

*big hugs*
24th-Jun-2010 09:13 pm (UTC)
1. HAPPY to see that change of topic heading! Yay!
1a. Chex now makes "Gluten Free" varieties. I know there are some issues with truly clean machinery and that pretzel debacle, but worth investigating. Thought of you as I sat for a LOONG time in the aisle trying to scan all those SCORES of boxes trying to find where my eyes swore they saw the words "gluten free."

2. "Autonomy." Excellent article. A tale of two friends- both had very similar backgrounds of a Very Rough Childhood. One, you would never know it. She is open and honest about it, but only if asked and in a general term of someone who has come to terms with her past abuse and terrifying childhood and made it into the fabric of her life and moved on. I am sure in private, she still has her triggers and her nightmares, but she has moved on well and I often completely forget about her past- which is the way she likes it. And when I do recall it, I smile because I am so proud of her for just being who she is in spite of what she went through, BECAUSE of what she went through. She embraces it and makes it a part of her story but not the entirety of it. And it motivates her in a hundred small ways, everyday.
Other friend, reverse everything I just said. *headdesk*
2a. This article on emotional manipulators!
#8, man, oh #8. Very connected to the Autonomy article.

3. I have a feeling all the roads will rise to meet Elayna's feet. And I know you miss her and she knows it too. And that's a good thing. She is going to come home with such GREAT stories!!
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