Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong
shadesong

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Other things I am

Very short. Shorter than you think.
A mom.
Mostly-invisibly disabled.
A writer.
Poly.
Bisexual; I guess pansexual.
Kinky. Not telling you how kinky unfiltered; I have co-workers reading this!
A survivor, of more than most of you know.
An activist.
A supertaster.
Very sensitive to smell.
A synesthete.
Pretty goddamn smart.
Pretty goddamn profane.
Not a pretty girl. (That is not what I do.)
Culturally Jewish, mostly religiously pagan, fairly lackadaisical.
Only content when I am doing something.
A keeper of everyone's secrets but my own. I don't have any; aftereffects of a childhood of having too many.
An occasional priestess.
Deeply in love at all times.
Unfiltered.
Never silent.

To go back to physical dissonance: Only deeply in touch with my body when I'm dancing, being physically intimate, or engaging in kinky funtimes. I blame this on my childhood and on the fact that my body has been physically malfunctioning and wildly variable for far too long. I am fixing this by engaging in all three grounding activities as much as I can.

I have been married thrice, a stripper, a jeweler, a secretary, a junkie, a jailbait headbanger, a very different person in ways that may surprise you.

I never thought I'd live to 18. Then 21. Then I got pregnant, and I rewired my brain as I was detoxing, because if I was going to be someone's mother I had to be none of the things I'd been and a whole lot I never learned how to be.

I have said: When you lose everything, when everything is taken from you, the great freedom is in deciding what to take with you and what to leave behind.

I want to go to med school, dance with fire fans, dance burlesque. I want to live a long time, even if I never did figure out how. I want to meet my grandkids. I want to do everything I want.

I want a lot.

And I want a pony. And a clipboard. And dinner.
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