Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong

Last night, after my survivor speech, I had someone tell me I was a very brave girl.

...which just always gets up my nose, y0. Because a) I am a woman, thanks, not a girl, and b) I don't tend to regard myself as extraordinarily brave. I was faced with a decision: Curl up and die, or get up and keep walking. Keeping walking doesn't strike me as extraordinary. It's just what you gotta go.

So I was thinking about why being called "brave" and "inspirational" makes me so twitchy, and oh! I think I have it!

Because these are words that are designed to set me apart and make me Special and Different, and I'm really not.

Surviving rape is not extraordinary to me, because there are people around us every single day doing exactly that. It is not extraordinary, because is is in fact quite ordinary. And I feel like by accepting that "brave" "extraordinary" "inspirational" label... it's sort of an othering thing, isn't it? It's designed to make my experience different and remote.

And it's not.

So that's where I am on that. Everyone living with this stuff deserves props. I just don't want any more props than anyone else. <--- not a special snowflake!

EDIT: To be clear, I did not snark at him! I just said thank you, because it was not the time and place for unpacking all of that.
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