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26th-Jan-2010 05:00 pm
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"Books have endings. Stories don't."
~~Randall "We write to discover what we believe." ~~Jonathan Carroll "...part of you pours out of me in these lines from time to time." ~~"Case of You", Joni Mitchell "There is a crack in everything; that's how the light gets in." ~~"Anthem", Leonard Cohen "If you wanna be immortal, you gotta have something to trade in." ~~"Anything", Foetus "This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy." ~~George Bernard Shaw "The real secret of magic is that the world is made of words, and that if you know the words that the world is made of you can make of it whatever you wish." ~~Terence McKenna "When we die, we will turn into songs, and we will hear each other and remember each other." ~~Rob Sheffield "I have a sickness in the brain. I'm allowed to make no sense to you puny mortals with your fully operational head-meat." ~~Spider Jerusalem "Sometimes you crash. Sometimes, the fall kills you. And sometimes... sometimes, you fly." ~~Neil Gaiman "Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself." ~~Lois McMaster Bujold "Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." ~~Albert Camus "Being able to speak the unspeakable is very powerful. If we can hear another person express where they get stuck, or lost, or repeat a negative pattern, it builds a bridge." ~~SARK "Myths and legends die hard in America." ~~Hunter S. Thompson "Don't undertake a project unless it is manifestly important and nearly impossible." ~~Edwin Land "Having faced the fire of your initiation and survived its heat, you can now serve others in a whole new way. By being a living testimony to life transformed, you carry in your cells a sacred knowledge, and in your mind and heart a sacred fire. It's not the fire of youth but the fire of Prometheus, who emerged with the light that would light the world. It's a light that you only could have gotten from having faced some version of your personal hell, and now you are inoculated to the fires which rage around us. Sometimes it is fire that puts out fire, and such is the fire that now burns in you. This is not the fire of your destruction but of your victory. It is the fire of the middle years." ~~Marianne Williamson "Considering how common illness is, how tremendous the spiritual change it brings, how astonishing, when the lights of health go down, the undiscovered countries that are then disclosed…what ancient and obdurate oaks are uprooted in us by the act of sickness…it becomes strange indeed that illness has not taken its place with love and battle and jealously among the prime themes of literature." ~~Virginia Woolf "The Universe puts us in places were we can learn. They are never easy places, but they are right. Wherever we are is the right place, at the right time. The pain that sometimes comes is part of the process of constantly being born." "I will tell you a great secret, Captain, perhaps the greatest secret of all time: The molecules of your body are the same molecules that make up this station, and the nebula outside - that burn inside the stars themselves. We are star-stuff. We are the Universe made manifest, trying to figure itself out. And, as we have both learned, sometimes the Universe requires a change of perspective." ~~Delenn, Babylon 5 "Light Leak", by SJ Tucker
Swirling stars into my skin
With a leaky stolen pen Stories end, pull kenning in Let the light leak in I finally let the light leak in I am kenning all I can She and I, me and my mind, Writing hard for the one true thing That lets you let me in Beguiling what must to gain the trust of the minutemen I am worth investing in and I never stop spinning. Kenning yarns out of my skin With a leaky borrowed pen Swirling stars and stories in Will you let the light leak in? Links
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Depends.
There's such a thing as too much, and I can work with smaller-than-average.
Depends on the skills.
One guy who was just way too much had considerable related skills, so we got along just fine.
Totally honestly, very small isn't going to rock my world.
Unless there are, as I say, other skills.
Big is always a good starting point. :)
But not if you don't know what you're doing with it.
To elaborate, I like big cocks and I cannot lie. But I know that part of that has to do with a preference for, shall we say, non-gentle sex - so the guy that comes in with something that's already on the big side absolutely has the edge there. I imagine that people who like things gentler have a preference for smaller penises? I don't know.
But, being the size I am, smaller can also be fine. Smaller-than-average in me could be slightly-larger-than-average in someone else. So it isn't that I exclusively require enormity, it's just a preference.
And there really is such a thing as too much. I did start laughing upon first contact once, at the sheer ridiculousness of the possibility.
I don't know if it's liking things gentler, or easy-to-trigger vaginal chafing -- but yes. smaller. please.
i have only had piv sex with two penises, though -- one about 8.5in, and one about 5.5. so, there's not a lot of range here to go from micro to macro, or vary by skillz.
The smallest man I have been with (3-4 inches when fully engorged) had a foreskin which also squicked me out a bit. We did a lot of showering before we had sex (and after). When instructed, sex was just as fun as with any guy, but without instructions, he was really of a pile driving nature rather than one of delicate kindness and loving intent.
The current model is 5-6 inches when fully erect, and I feel very much like Goldilocks as he is "just the right size." He no longer requires instructions (we've been doing this for over 10 years now), and I've determined the mature, eager, and enthusiastic model is my favorite.
Once you have sufficient of both, however, it's simply a matter of technique in my opinion.
Penis size can be interesting or not important. I once dated a man who was so well hung he could have been a porn star. (9+" and very thick.) Sharing intimacy was rather painful, and I was forced to break up with him becuase the sex was not worth the oww. This is the story I share every time someone insists upon waiting until marriage to have sex. If we'd waited, I would have requested a divorce.
My ex was well hung, at 6" of usable penis. (I refuse to measure from the balls, since length should only be determined by penetration power IMHO.) He also did not understand the concept of foreplay, and wanted sex two or three times a day, and quite literally whined if we went three days without. Ugh. Not fun.
I eventually dumped him for someone who has a much smaller penis. (3") We have sex every week or two, and while I wish it was a little more often, it's amazing when it does happen and is completely worth waiting for.
In closing, I will say that size does matter, but not nearly as much as technique.
Current partner seems good to me. Good size for giving oral (which I enjoy doing), good size for penetration, and he knows what he's doing which is always a plus.
I don't have any real experience with too small.
That has happened to me and I AM OPPOSED TO IT. *wince*
I prefer above average, because it can help make up for a lack of skill in other areas. Plus I like how bigger penises look. I can't help it. It would be really nice if a guy can be above average AND have skill though. Having a larger penis doesn't give a guy a pass on learning what to do with it and learning what ELSE to do.
http://www.penissizedebate.com/images/doc/penis_size_preference_chart1.gif (though this website is a little crazy)
Second husband was quite large and being a big girl myself not scary, but if I'd been even a smidge smaller (and had less muscle control) it could have been an issue. Unfortunately he was very much a wham bam thank you ma'am, so he always had to be tutored on good use of hands, after which penetration that lasted no more than 30 seconds was perfectly fine. If he'd been unwilling to work to learn what made me happy, it never would have lasted.
My current long-term partner is very much a "just right" sort. He's of average size but has a wonderful curve and most importantly LIKES to work at making sex better. He *loves* learning what works for me and its allllllll good.
Final analysis ... size is fun, size is dandy, but there are so many ways to adjust for whatever is handy, I don't really worry too much about it. (wish I could have figured out a way to end that sentence with a dandy/handy rhyme).
P.S. I LOVE LOVE LOVE giving head, so really the only time I've felt unhappiness of any sort with the three men I've mentioned above, was with #2 cause I just could not that with him like I prefer. In this case, smaller is a serious advantage.
"I don't really worry 'cause it all works if it makes you randy" could've been how you ended. :-)
"Brandy" could've worked, too. "Sandy" probably wouldn't.
Current (female) partners do complain that it's tough to get me inside but at the same time in the past I've had partners inside whom I've fit perfectly. In my case it's girth rather than length that seems to be the issue, but I have hit bottom once with a female partner, who liked the sensation quite a bit as long as I wasn't too rough.
So I guess what I'm saying is that for males who are into sex with women, there are just as many sizes and shapes of vaginas as there are penises, so at the very least this is a two-way street of both parties assessing how penis size affects the experience. It's a linear equation. :)
That is a very good point that is quite true.
Of course, emphasis on penis size is very much part of cisnormativity, and obviously problematic for me. So I'd argue with the statement "it doesn't matter at all even a little bit!" which is also clearly not true. It doesn't have to matter at all - depending not only on the lover with the penis, but on the lover having sex with said person. Some people aren't into being penetrated. Some are, but aren't fussed about size. Some are, but aren't fussed about the penetration being with a penis, or prefer it not to be.