So I was chatting with a heterosexual male friend today, and we got onto the topic of penis size.
Y'know. Like you do.
He said, "I'm sort of tired of both narratives I get from the universe - either the bigger is better, which clearly is not true and doesn't indicate a good lover, or the "it doesn't matter at all even a little bit!" which is also clearly not true and depends on the lover."
And I can (and did) give him my response (which I'll give in comments, so
farren won't be all MY EYES ARE BLEEDING again), but my experience is certainly not universal.
So. People who like penises.
I solicit your opinions.
Anonymous commenting is enabled. Feel free to comment with or without your name attached. Tell us what you like, don't like, look for, run away from. Speak to us of penis size. Ready set GO.
Depends.
There's such a thing as too much, and I can work with smaller-than-average.
Depends on the skills.
One guy who was just way too much had considerable related skills, so we got along just fine.
Totally honestly, very small isn't going to rock my world.
Unless there are, as I say, other skills.
Big is always a good starting point. :)
But not if you don't know what you're doing with it.
To elaborate, I like big cocks and I cannot lie. But I know that part of that has to do with a preference for, shall we say, non-gentle sex - so the guy that comes in with something that's already on the big side absolutely has the edge there. I imagine that people who like things gentler have a preference for smaller penises? I don't know.
But, being the size I am, smaller can also be fine. Smaller-than-average in me could be slightly-larger-than-average in someone else. So it isn't that I exclusively require enormity, it's just a preference.
And there really is such a thing as too much. I did start laughing upon first contact once, at the sheer ridiculousness of the possibility.
I don't know if it's liking things gentler, or easy-to-trigger vaginal chafing -- but yes. smaller. please.
i have only had piv sex with two penises, though -- one about 8.5in, and one about 5.5. so, there's not a lot of range here to go from micro to macro, or vary by skillz.
The smallest man I have been with (3-4 inches when fully engorged) had a foreskin which also squicked me out a bit. We did a lot of showering before we had sex (and after). When instructed, sex was just as fun as with any guy, but without instructions, he was really of a pile driving nature rather than one of delicate kindness and loving intent.
The current model is 5-6 inches when fully erect, and I feel very much like Goldilocks as he is "just the right size." He no longer requires instructions (we've been doing this for over 10 years now), and I've determined the mature, eager, and enthusiastic model is my favorite.
Once you have sufficient of both, however, it's simply a matter of technique in my opinion.
Penis size can be interesting or not important. I once dated a man who was so well hung he could have been a porn star. (9+" and very thick.) Sharing intimacy was rather painful, and I was forced to break up with him becuase the sex was not worth the oww. This is the story I share every time someone insists upon waiting until marriage to have sex. If we'd waited, I would have requested a divorce.
My ex was well hung, at 6" of usable penis. (I refuse to measure from the balls, since length should only be determined by penetration power IMHO.) He also did not understand the concept of foreplay, and wanted sex two or three times a day, and quite literally whined if we went three days without. Ugh. Not fun.
I eventually dumped him for someone who has a much smaller penis. (3") We have sex every week or two, and while I wish it was a little more often, it's amazing when it does happen and is completely worth waiting for.
In closing, I will say that size does matter, but not nearly as much as technique.
Current partner seems good to me. Good size for giving oral (which I enjoy doing), good size for penetration, and he knows what he's doing which is always a plus.
I don't have any real experience with too small.
That has happened to me and I AM OPPOSED TO IT. *wince*
I prefer above average, because it can help make up for a lack of skill in other areas. Plus I like how bigger penises look. I can't help it. It would be really nice if a guy can be above average AND have skill though. Having a larger penis doesn't give a guy a pass on learning what to do with it and learning what ELSE to do.
http://www.penissizedebate.com/images/doc/penis_size_preference_chart1.gif (though this website is a little crazy)
Second husband was quite large and being a big girl myself not scary, but if I'd been even a smidge smaller (and had less muscle control) it could have been an issue. Unfortunately he was very much a wham bam thank you ma'am, so he always had to be tutored on good use of hands, after which penetration that lasted no more than 30 seconds was perfectly fine. If he'd been unwilling to work to learn what made me happy, it never would have lasted.
My current long-term partner is very much a "just right" sort. He's of average size but has a wonderful curve and most importantly LIKES to work at making sex better. He *loves* learning what works for me and its allllllll good.
Final analysis ... size is fun, size is dandy, but there are so many ways to adjust for whatever is handy, I don't really worry too much about it. (wish I could have figured out a way to end that sentence with a dandy/handy rhyme).
P.S. I LOVE LOVE LOVE giving head, so really the only time I've felt unhappiness of any sort with the three men I've mentioned above, was with #2 cause I just could not that with him like I prefer. In this case, smaller is a serious advantage.
"I don't really worry 'cause it all works if it makes you randy" could've been how you ended. :-)
"Brandy" could've worked, too. "Sandy" probably wouldn't.
Current (female) partners do complain that it's tough to get me inside but at the same time in the past I've had partners inside whom I've fit perfectly. In my case it's girth rather than length that seems to be the issue, but I have hit bottom once with a female partner, who liked the sensation quite a bit as long as I wasn't too rough.
So I guess what I'm saying is that for males who are into sex with women, there are just as many sizes and shapes of vaginas as there are penises, so at the very least this is a two-way street of both parties assessing how penis size affects the experience. It's a linear equation. :)
That is a very good point that is quite true.
Of course, emphasis on penis size is very much part of cisnormativity, and obviously problematic for me. So I'd argue with the statement "it doesn't matter at all even a little bit!" which is also clearly not true. It doesn't have to matter at all - depending not only on the lover with the penis, but on the lover having sex with said person. Some people aren't into being penetrated. Some are, but aren't fussed about size. Some are, but aren't fussed about the penetration being with a penis, or prefer it not to be.