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Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
The thing with doing what I do is that when I have a really bad day,… 
8th-Jan-2010 10:20 pm
The thing with doing what I do is that when I have a really bad day, I can't really tell you about it. I can tell you that the day was really bad, but I feel like laying out there any sort of explanation is a breach of confidentiality.

So let us just say that it was a bad day, with one particular call that rattled the whole office. (No, I'm not on hotline, but sometimes people call the office instead of the hotline, so we do get calls from people in crisis.) Yesterday, too.

I am very fortunate in my friends. My BARCC friend D. pulled me out of yesterday's tailspin and had be laughing via Gchat by the time he had to leave work. mangosteen hauled me out of today's. I am thankful.

I need to find balance so I won't require rescue. Thankful as I am that rescue is available, I need to not *need* it on a regular basis.

And yes, I still totally love my job. It is awesome. I am Getting Stuff Done, and today I put the finishing touches on the volunteer training that starts tomorrow. Big project conquered. 10 points to Ravenclaw!
And more musing tomorrow when I'm not about to fall asleep.
9th-Jan-2010 03:33 am (UTC)
I'm not sure it's unreasonable to require rescue in such circumstances. Having a large network to provide it at short notice is, to my eyes, an indicator of balance!
9th-Jan-2010 03:39 am (UTC)
I need to find balance so I won't require rescue

I wish you luck with that. It might take awhile; what you are doing is no small feat.
9th-Jan-2010 04:34 am (UTC)
I understand far too fully about confidentiality.

There's nothing wrong with needing rescue. Your problem isn't that you need rescuing, it's that you think it's "too often" compared to others. You're in a tough job, you're allowed to be human and have reactions to what's going on.

You're doing good work, just remember you don't have to be a pillar of iron to do it. ;)
9th-Jan-2010 04:51 am (UTC)
I feel like now is perhaps a good time to tell you that i was given a copy of Wind Tunnel Dreams just recently, and I am completely loving it.
10th-Jan-2010 05:39 pm (UTC)
Yay! Thanks. :)
9th-Jan-2010 04:57 am (UTC)
I have a similar problem with my job. I can say "I have a bad client" or "I have a bad case" but can't say much beyond that.

Hopefully, you'll develop ways to protect yourself without just becoming hard. But, please, do work on ways to protect yourself. We want you doing this work for a good while to come.
9th-Jan-2010 06:11 am (UTC)
9th-Jan-2010 06:33 am (UTC)
Are you working here in Central Sq, ~2 blocks from my house?
9th-Jan-2010 08:37 am (UTC)
I really admire your strength and your will - and your power-within. *hugs*
9th-Jan-2010 05:45 pm (UTC)
I feel you on the difficult call. I had a very difficult Face to Face at a hospital near my house on Wednesday. I'm still recovering from it.
9th-Jan-2010 06:34 pm (UTC)
-huge hugs-
9th-Jan-2010 07:59 pm (UTC)
I don't comment on your journal often, but I read everything you write, and I am constantly in awe of all of the things that you do. Even with a far smaller workload, I struggle a lot with balance, so I can certainly identify and you have all of my best wishes and thoughts.

Also, I'm glad to know that my friends and I are not the only ones that award points to our respective Houses when we're in need of some positive reinforcement. :-)
9th-Jan-2010 10:13 pm (UTC)
Sorry to hear about your bad day. After years of Rachel working for DYFS, and the crisis line before that, I never did learn anything that gives enough comfort after the kind of day you've had...which I suppose sounds especially trite in the knowledge that you wouldn't be having such a bad day except for someone else having an even worse one...

tripping over my own tongue here. Hope you find the comfort you need.
9th-Jan-2010 11:22 pm (UTC) - A post from Thunderpigeon's spouse
Sorry about the bad day. Hopefully the knowledge you are doing good in the world will help get you through. The one thing I found about helping professions is you absolutely need a strong support system to keep your own mental health. When your friends cheer you up and help you cope they are indirectly helping your clients in crisis. I would never have survived at my child protective services job as long as I did (just under 5 years) except that everyone in the office supported each other in dealing with the tough cases (and it was okay to talk about the details within the office). In some ways a rape/DV crisis line is harder to deal with because you have to convince callers to get or accept help. At least with DYFS we were supposed to intervene in really bad situations (even though you had to justify it in family court later).
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