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Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
Oh, Florida. You so crazy. 
20th-Dec-2009 09:03 pm
Everyone here is a crazy person.
So I went out to lunch with maxymyllyn yesterday when the rest of the family went to the mall. And we were getting back into his car when I got the following text message from my husband:

"Just saw a pig in a baby carriage at the mall."


A full-sized pig, apparently. Not a wee potbelly pig. Very large pig, in a double stroller. The kind for twins.

Me: "Did you get a picture?"

No. They did not. Because apparently the pig started throwing up. At the perfume counter at Macy's.

There was a *pig* in a *baby carriage* *horking* at the *Macy's perfume counter* and they *did not get a picture*.

No one understands the tragedy that is this. How can you not get a picture of that? For serious! They were too reserved to speak to the pig people. I would have been conducting a video interview with the pig people. I ain't shy. Pig in a baby carriage? I am all up on recording that for posterity.

I cannot *believe* they didn't get a picture. I swear. Pig. In a baby carriage. EPIC.
21st-Dec-2009 02:10 am (UTC)
Clean-up on Aisle 5!
21st-Dec-2009 02:12 am (UTC)
How Alice in Wonderland!
21st-Dec-2009 05:38 am (UTC)
You said it!!
21st-Dec-2009 02:12 am (UTC)
This sounds even more magical than how I managed to bump into a man in a giant bratwurst costume and got to pet a ferret on a leash in the same day.
21st-Dec-2009 04:17 am (UTC)
That's … better than the other way around, which is how I read it at first glance.
21st-Dec-2009 02:26 am (UTC)
"There was a *pig* in a *baby carriage* *horking* at the *Macy's perfume counter* and they *did not get a picture*."

Wow. Just...wow.
21st-Dec-2009 02:33 am (UTC)
I so am glad I wasn't actually drinking anything at that momemnt... cause... wow... It would have been alll over my screen... Yup.. Pig in a baby carriage...EPIC!
21st-Dec-2009 03:35 am (UTC)
The Internet thrives on the probability that there will often be someone like you around when weird things happen.
21st-Dec-2009 02:38 pm (UTC)
When I applied to be one of the 3six5 writers, I said "Strange things tend to happen around me."

(I'm 3/17/10.)
21st-Dec-2009 03:45 am (UTC)
A movie clip would have been even better! Think of the YouTube hits?

The best surreal thing I've ever seen in Florida was something like 4-5 Oscar Meyer Wienermobiles parked abreast in a parking lot, and I did not get a picture. *sigh*
21st-Dec-2009 05:37 am (UTC)
21st-Dec-2009 03:46 am (UTC)
21st-Dec-2009 03:53 am (UTC)
Your mind went where my mind went. "Don't come around here no more..."
21st-Dec-2009 03:52 am (UTC)
Oh, dear. I want Adam's explanation on WHY there is no picture SOON. I saw his comment on your FB status claiming it wasn't his fault, but I'm not buying it!
21st-Dec-2009 02:39 pm (UTC)
There is no excuse!
21st-Dec-2009 05:27 am (UTC)
People with a pig in a stroller in a mall are just begging to have their picture taken or to be interviewed!
21st-Dec-2009 02:40 pm (UTC)
I'm sayin'. You don't push a pig around Macy's in a baby carriage if you're shy.
21st-Dec-2009 05:37 am (UTC)
What Would Alice Do?
21st-Dec-2009 06:20 am (UTC)
Hmmm, Alice, no.

But it is near the time of year that would most closely corrospond to Hoggwatch night on the Discword.
It was obviously one of the Hoggsfather's Pigs.
My question is; Did it wee on the floor?

21st-Dec-2009 06:26 am (UTC)
Oh, wow. FTW. Pig in baby carriage is Hogswatch Baby Jebus.
21st-Dec-2009 06:53 am (UTC)
...they are outta the band. Wow.
21st-Dec-2009 02:40 pm (UTC)
For serious!
21st-Dec-2009 09:44 am (UTC)
OMG, I. Am. Dying. My family had to wait for me to be able to breathe so I could read this to them. I am seriously crying with laughter.
21st-Dec-2009 02:39 pm (UTC)
I think my brain just broke.
21st-Dec-2009 02:41 pm (UTC)
Welcome to Florida. There's a reason there's a whole "weird shit in Florida" subgenre of literature.
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