I'm perfectly willing to discuss, but will be away most of the afternoon, so silence != triggered!'song curled up in a ball, it = 'song doing laundry and going to Costco.
And yes, my entire adolescence was a parade of stuff like that. A lot of Cicatrix is drawn from actual events.
My life is so much better now that it amazes me. I have broken places, but they are welded back together and even stronger than they were. And I have so much awesome in my life that I am sometimes just silent and regarding the awesome, going "whoa."
So the fact that chugging water is still Difficult is not a huge problem, just because I have overcome *so much* other crap. And I'm very proud of that. I'll work through this, too. I have gotten better at it.