Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong
shadesong

Hansel & Gretel, before and after

Two batches of cookies for Hansel and Gretel, one for each of the witch's houses, by dulcinbradbury.

Before: Homemade ginger snaps. Good balance of snap and flavor. A very traditional witch's shingle, don't you know?

After: Why settle for mere cookies when you can have bacon? But why settle for just bacon when you can have both? Bacon chocolate chip cookies. Candied bacon (bacon baked with a sprinkling of brown sugar) added to a traditional chocolate chip cookie. Perfect for those who love that salty-sweet combination.

Click here to bid!

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My house was perfect. Years of market research, charting sales at candy store, conducting clandestine "interviews" with chubby schoolchildren, all culminating in this: a perfect gingerbread cottage, festooned with all sorts of enticing candy. A treat for the eyes, the ears, the mouth, the greedy little belly...

And yet - nary a nibble.

I watched in disbelief as the children - brother and sister, by the looks of it - spared a mere glance at my delicious cottage,then kept walking down the path. This was the third time this week! What on earth... "Hey!" I yelled, hanging half-out my window, long fingernails digging into the frosting.

The children turned, surprised. "Yes, ma'am?" the boy stammered.

"What's wrong with my house?"

The girl tilted her head, confused. "I don't know. Maybe you should call a housing inspector?"

"That's not - it's structurally sound, okay? What I meant was... doesn't it look delicious? Doesn't it look tempting?"

They both nodded. "Like something out of a dream," the girl sighed.

"Then why doesn't anyone want to eat it?"

"Atkins," the boy piped up.

"What the hell is an Atkins?"

"A diet plan," the girl replied, shaking her head mournfully. "There's a rising tide of obesity,'specially in children. So we're on Atkins. Can't eat candy."

Can't eat candy? Well, I never! What was this world coming to? I sighed, dismissing the children with a wave, and returned to my computer, booting up the CAD program...

###


My new house was perfect. I'd just finished it this morning, and already - is that? - yes! Grubby little hands pulling the bacon off my shutters! I grabbed my pointiest hat and prepared to meet my lunch.

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Still at $1,177.24 - SPONSOR ME!

The lovely dulcinbradbury is moderating blogforbarcc for me, gently reminding you to bid in the thread, replying to the current high bidder. She rules.



That is mllelaurel and zarhooie, duelling with plastic forks. Just because.

Tory and Sarah are here, bearing with them a book of 500 cookie recipes. Mmmm.

Team Venture is petting Max en masse. He is so adored.
Tags: blogathon.2009
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