Happy birthday to dearly-missed harkalark, and to merovingian and n2mlq!
Yesterday was a decent brain day. Hopefully today will be, too, and I'll get to the stuff I should've done yesterday. Sleep was interrupted, but I did eventually get back to bed and get a few more hours in.
haikujaguar did readings yesterday! I got: In one direction, the King.
In the other, the Hearth and the River.
So then... the story is thusly: You wish to be open about what you need, to ask for it and have it be given to you. And yet, in the places you feel safest, there is too much change for you to do this thing.
I suspect this has to do with your health, the inside of your head.
My only consolation then, is that the River brings experience, adventure and seasoning... and if you make it to the end safely, you will find yourself in a port town rich with shipping and romance and spices, and you will find gold and stories and mystery and wonder there. But you're going to have to make it down the River, and that is going to be a trial, no mistake.
I really do have the damnedest time admitting that I need things and asking for them. Partly this is because, hey, I used to be Superwoman, and I can do it myself, dammit. Partly - this will sound weird, but it is one of those odd little things in my had, and it applies.
Partly it's that when I ask for things, I get them. Almost invariably. This leads to two different sources of agita -
1. I do not want to abuse this and ask for too much.
2. What if this is finite? What if my luck will one day run out, I know not when, and by asking for something I only think I need, I could cost myself something I really need later?
This is related to prayer. My prayers tend to get answered. (Sometimes quite theatrically.) So I rarely pray. Only when I really, really need something that I cannot do on my own. Praying over the decision whether to have Elayna is an example. But. Not that I think those answers are finite, but that I believe that, dude, the gods are busy, and to keep their favor, we ought not to waste their time. So I do everything I can. I want to show that I'm willing to put in the work.
But when it comes to health matters, putting in the work can do me damage.
So yeah. The difficulty in asking for what I need hits a lot of areas in my life (and probably stems from me being on my own from a very young age - I grew up with a lot of no, and still haven't fully acclimated to yes). Health, yes, but also heart - I have several huge decisions coming up on that front, and they all have lots of variables, and argh.
I shall look forward to that port town.
I realized that I do actually have a few already-written stories I could release as Wind Tunnel Dreams - give you fresh fiction without the daily pressure. Could do. In the meantime, check out these other projects:
* haikujaguar's Spots the Space Marine
* tim_pratt's Bone Shop.
* catvalente's The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of her Own Making.
Read for free, donate if you can. (Same goes for WTD.)
* Yes, meeting Adam was exactly like this.
* The first episode of emilytheslayer's new podcast is up! Go listen to We Have Thumbs!
* Fantasy is off and on for me as webzines go, but I really liked this story.
* The Human Genre Project. Interesting.
* Help Orbit Books generate the most awesomely bad SF/F cover ever.
* Rob Thomas song about him and his wife struggling with her autoimmune disorder. This one's for the caregivers in the audience.
Scientists at Karolinska Institutet and Linköping University (Sweden) are well on the way to creating the first artificial nerve cell that can communicate specifically with nerve cells in the body using neurotransmitters.
NONAE CAPROTINA: The Nones of the Wild Fig, held on the 7th of July and celebrated only by women, is a festival of fertility honoring Juno Caprotina. Both goats and figs are sacred to Juno in this aspect, goats being notoriously randy, and figs being prolifically seedy. The milky sap of the fig tree also links to the concept of fertility, and to Juno as Mother Goddess. The scent is of goat’s milk, ripe fig, and a hint of sweet myrrh.
In bottle: Mostly ripe, luscious fig.
On me: My favorite dessert, at Sabur, is the Macedonian Wild Fig Sundae. Gorgeous figs, vanilla gelato, almond frangipane, and pomegranate caramel. I smell like it tastes. feste_sylvain once wrote a sexfilter post about watching me eat this dessert. So you can imagine how fantastic I smell.
LAWN GNOME: Red currant, molasses, vanilla cream, moss, and patchouli.
In bottle: All of it all at once! The currant pulls ahead of the pack, chased by the vanilla.
On me: The moss pops first. Which is good, because it's one of my favorite notes. Vanilla wafts up, then - oh, there's the molasses! The patchouli anchors it, very subtle. Dessert eaten along the riverbank, Spanish moss dripping from the trees. Yum yum.
Um. The stuff I was supposed to write yesterday. I also have a Victor-during-the-Purges scene kicking around my head.
Not going to Diesel today, as Elayna's coming home at the regular time... tonight'll be the lion's share of my potential time with her this week.