Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong
shadesong

Why there was no WTD today

Elayna, in one of those moments that breaks a mom's heart: "I miss you! You're always working or sleeping or cleaning, and - this is the only thing I hate about Explo, is you stressing out about raising money for it."

So we talked. About how I can't help but be working sometimes - she just perceives that always-working thing more strongly with me than with Adam, because Adam works outside the home. So when he's home, he's not working. Whereas I only work from home, so it's hard to tell if I'm working or goofing off. (I told her I can put up a little tent card in front of the laptop to let her know which.)

Sleeping... I can't help. And I reminded her of that, that part of me being sick is that I get so exhausted that I'm nonfunctional. My five-hour crash on Sunday probably exacerbated this; it was one of those where Adam tried multiple times but just could not wake me. She understands. But it's hard. It is really hard to have your mom chronically ill. And my heart hurts for her on this... there's nothing I can do about it, save what I'm already doing. Take my meds, get rest, et cetera. But nothing is going to make that not suck for her.

Cleaning... I'm not entirely sure where that one came from. I'll re-touch base with her on that tomorrow. But she was tearful, so I wasn't going to give her the third degree.

But she misses us being us, hanging out, being silly. She misses us not fighting about homework and her room and laptop privileges. And, y'know, me too.

So I gave us the day off. We spent the day curled up on the couch watching Gilmore Girls. Elayna had always had some resistance to watching it - one of those things where if Mom's pushing it, she doesn't want to do it, even though I'm always right. I was again. She loved it. Every single character.

She's my Rory, y'know.

*sigh* *stretch* So tomorrow there will be work. But we needed today.
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