Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong
shadesong

...

So. My crazy aunt is pulling some bullshit again. I just got the invitation to my sister's bridal shower.

Yes, I'm the matron of honor. Yes, I was supposed to be sending those out. But I was cut out of the e-mail loop by my aunt, who specializes in being a bitch in general and a superbitch to me in particular, because I have wildly succeeded at something important that she feels she failed at. Long story. But. She has generally had it in for me for years.

And I know why she does this shit. It's because of that success. The very fact of my success disproves her theories of life, the universe and everything, so she can't stand my intrusion on her worldview. Feh, I say. Feh.

So I get this invitation. And she invites us to the party. Her. Not even a member of the wedding party. And on the back, the hosts are listed. And I am not there.

*taps fingernails*

So I ranted to Adam. And then I called Mom and mentioned it in a jocular fashion, and Mom was genuinely surprised that my name was not on there. Okay, fine. Chatted about other stuff. Hung up.

Paced. Ranted a little more at Adam: "I know that this is all do do with her issues. It's nothing to do with me. But I'm sick of taking it in the ass for other people's issues. I'm sick of always having to shut up and take it in order to be the better person." Because this happens online a lot, let me tell you.

So I called Mom back. And I said "Listen, I just want to say something for the record. I don't need or want a big deal made of it; we don't even ever have to talk about it again, and I certainly do not want my sister worrying about it, because it's not her problem. But. I am really disappointed that I was left out of this. Because I was not able to be there for her when we were growing up, and I was really looking forward to doing all of the Matron of Honor stuff; I wanted to be a sister to her now. And Crazy Aunt took over, and I've been shoved out, and this upsets me." (Because seriously. My sister and I had not been un-close when we were little. But I was shoved off to my first Adolescent Treatment Center when she was ten, and I was rarely home from them til she was eighteen, about. So we're like aliens who just happen to have the same parents. And I have always resented that about my adolescence - that I was robbed of having a sister. I wasn't someone she could talk to when she was having boy trouble or someone who could help with her homework. I was someone to visit awkwardly once every other week, too doped up to have a conversation with. And I should have been her sister. I missed so much. And I so wanted to have been there.)

Turns out Mom had talked to Dad between calls, and they were both uncomfortable with me being left out as well. And Mom recommended that I tell my sister. And I did, and my sister said it meant a lot to her. And now I'm planning the bachelorette party. Which is not the same. But.

I'm just sick of sucking it up and letting other people's issues impact me, and as far as this shit with my aunt goes, that stops after this wedding. No more. I only take it now because I don't want to disrupt the wedding.

So I was talking myself down with Adam, and I said "I'm just sick of always taking shit. I'm sick of always having to be the classy one."

And I looked down at myself, all dressed for the party in a low-cut ensemble, and I added "...she says, with her tits hanging out."

And Adam, my wonderful husband, kissed me and said "But they're classy tits."
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