Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong

Odin's Day

Hello to new readers mdg1 and thevirtualjim!

Cautious optimism.

For the New Kids, to explain the medical section: I have epilepsy and fibromyalgia, among other stuff. This = a shifting map of pain, fatigue, and side effects both neurological and musculoskeletal. I try to track the bigger stuff. My memory issues are part of this. So's my relationship with food (IBS is part of the Fibro Bonus Pack).

I exhibited no signs of gimpiness this weekend, save for having to explain to Nate why I oughtn't to take the stairs. And this was the first con... um, since about '03 that I wasn't at all time surrounded by people I knew who were being solicitous and reminding me to take my pills and sit down. Which is a fine bakance for you guys, and I totally appreciate and try not to get edgy when multiple people hit me with it - when one person does it, it feels like care and concern, but when twenty people do it, it feels like being hit over the head with the "OH HAI you are Broken" sign - but you don't know you're #20. So. I try to be patient, because I know it comes from a place of love.

So I'm thinking about this because I had a weekend where I didn't feel like Seizure Lass/Gimp Girl, and also because I'm reading Wanderlust by Ann Aguirre, and she's nailing a particular thing that always makes me go ouch. Her protagonist is used to being superwoman. She got pretty battered in the first book. In this one, she's increasingly fragile and damaged. And yeah, that's difficult to read. But what she hits out of the park is the feeling of helplessness when people who love you want to help you, and they can't. It can tear you up, knowing that you're a source of pain.

Not something I dwell on, normally. Book's too good. Read Grimspace first; this is a sequel.

Free Will Astrology
Uncle Rob sez: "The real secret of magic is that the world is made of words," said the sage Terence McKenna, "and that if you know the words that the world is made of, you can make of it whatever you wish." I'd go even further and say that you can actually shape your world through your use of language. Do you really want to live amidst infertile chaos where nothing makes sense and no one really loves anyone? Then speak with unconscious carelessness, expressing yourself lazily. Or would you prefer to live in a realm that's rich with meaning and beauty and interesting mystery? Then be discerning and creative in how you speak, primed to name the novel truths that are always being born right in front of your eyes. Of course you always have the power to create heaven or hell through the words you choose, Pisces, but right now is a potential turning point when you could form good new habits.

Which leads into...
...the art vs. commerce conversation I keep trying to have with people on Gchat after I take my sleep drugs. Heh. Same thing that's been coming up for months, really. Wind Tunnel Dreams pays for my meds, some months. And it gives me a bit of play money, an entertainment budget. Until I find a part-time work-from-home gig, that's all the money I bring into this household. So I have this self-imposed pressure to keep on track with WTD.

But I feel very strongly that it is taking time away from the big projects like Places You Haunt and Shayara, and even from editing the short fiction I wrote earlier in the year so it's saleworthy ("Fortune" needs... something).

I'm making money at it.

I'd be a better writer without it.

It's the only way I'm making money.

It means I'm not working on the important stuff.

So a lot of this is tied into my guilt over being fairly unemployable right now. If anyone's got any writing, proofreading, or editing gigs they could toss my way, that'd help.

Definitely doing September's - which is a bit of a return to form, as we're working with prompts. And a bit of playtime, because I'm working with Kyth, and there will be shinies. October's WTD depends on how far I get in one of my bigger projects in September. Having more structure in my life (kid going back to school) helps.

Elayna's backpack is full of supplies and covered with nancylebov's buttons! We'll go to the music store today and get her flute fixed. And back-to-school gaming/jewelry party invites were sent out. Unfortunately, three invitees are at dance camp. Argh. I hope we have enough for a party. *worries*

This is easy math.
Dudes. My reputation's been gettin' out and having fun without me.

If I hug someone, that does not make them my boyfriend. SRSLY. I am a hugslut.

I have one husband, one boyfriend (local), and one girlfriend (nonlocal). That should be easy to keep track of. :)

(This message brought to you by lots of people thinking I'm dating people I'm not dating.)

Daily Science
Researchers say they have figured out how a mysterious clutch of massive stars could have come into existence a few trillion miles from the supermassive black hole at the center of the Milky Way.

This group of stars—about 100 of them in an elongated disk—has posed a challenge to theories of star formation, which predict that stars emerge when clouds of hydrogen molecules coalesce under their collective gravitational attraction.

The gravity around a supermassive black hole weighing millions of times more than the sun should have shredded such a cloud like paint dropped on an eggbeater before it got a chance to make stars.

Get the damn Blogathon flashfics off my plate. Get flute fixed. Tonight = date night!
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