She does cook for herself.
And the problem is that she doesn't cook anything but soup, pasta, and ramen.
And kvetches about eating anything but. But I'm seeing the response be, over and over again, have her cook for herself and that she should be able to boil water, and yes! but that is not the issue. The issue is that she needs to be eating Things What Are Not Ramen. Saying "oh, but she could cook ramen" is not the solution to that issue, you see.
Having a Family Dinner is important, yes, but also important = eating healthy.
I'll respond to other comments individually, but it seems like half the commenters are stuck on "let her cook what she wants", and that would work just fine if what she wanted had a lower salinity than certain lakes in Utah and included any protein or nutrients. What I'm asking for advice on is how to get her to eat said protein and nutrients.
The ideal answer, IMO, is drafting her to do meal planning. Right now she's not hearing me when I say "If you help us plan the meals, you will get food you like"; she responds with "There's always going to be something I don't like!" and I say "Not. If you plan. The meals", and I try not to say that through gritted teeth, but dude.
EDIT: Have cooled down a bit. Just... frustrating.
This isn't a new battle. What it comes down to is that, while my body and brain were fried, I did not have the capacity to keep nudging her food safety zone. As a result, I'm fighting years of bad nutrition and bad habits on her part. And I'm still fried. Just not as fried. As a result, even some of these really great ideas are difficult for me to implement - because if I have two days in a row where I require an afternoon nap and she loads up on pre-dinner ramen, I've lost that traction and momentum. And because fighting through fibrofog and fatigue is varying degrees of difficult on a daily basis. I can't rely upon my ability to do anything complex on any given day.
I don't want to take away her favorite foods altogether.
I want to make her an active participant in meal planning.
I don't want to bully her into unhealthy attitudes about food.
I want her to eat a healthy, balanced diet.
And I'm a little too fried today/tonight to figure out how to work this.