Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong

The blessings and bafflement of reconnection

Procrastinatory googling led me to an old senior-year-of-high-school friend. The guy I originally based my character Shawn on, actually. I gave a tentative "oh hai, 'member me?"; he does, and asked where I was and what I was up to these days.

That's a harder question to answer than you'd think.

Last time he saw me, I was eighteen, purple-haired and emotionally armored, desperately angry and not even understanding why yet. I was a writer even then, of course, and a music, drama, and SF/F geek - those things have never changed. But everything else... the rape shattered me just two years later. And then I reshaped myself around trying to be what I should a mother should be, and that was a few years; then I came out of my shock and shell and deconstructed, found what worked and built a better me...

It's a few lifetimes later. I'm up in a friend's workshop, listening to music, listening to her sing along as she crafts beauty from twists of silver and stone. I'm married. I have wonderful partners. I have the most amazing child. People read my stories. I'm... doing so much. I'm part of this extended family, me and Kyth and Micah and Grey and S00j and so many more. Tremendous pain, tremendous joy, tremendous everything.

Would he even recognize me?

How do you even begin to tell someone where you are now?
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