Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong

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Dear Internet: Knock it off.

I wasn't going to post about the whole Open Source Boobies kerfuffle. That is, I was, then I saw how crazy it was getting and I wasn't, and now I feel that I must, because this is out of hand and does not appear to be stopping.

Was this a good idea? Outside of the original band of friends (note: I wasn't there/involved), no. Clearly no. It raises whole bunches of consent and peer pressure red flags. Objectifying women, okay. I have a skewed perspective on that - due to the rapid-cycling changes in my body when I was sicker than I currently am, I pretty much view my body as a machine of bone and muscle and organs. This machine is frequently broken, and it's a bitch to find a qualified mechanic. So while I can appreciate that I have what is referred to as the Rack Of Doom, I generally see my breasts as sacks of fatty tissue that make it difficult to wear button-down shirts.

Yes, you may ask if you can touch. The answer will be no if I don't know you. Might be yes or no if I do. I absolutely see that there's a peer pressure issue here; I, too, have done things that I Did Not Want in order to go with the flow, or because I didn't have a ride home. This is no longer the case for me. So when I say sure, you can ask me, that's because I know I'd have no problem saying no. A lot of people have problems saying no. So. Not a good idea on a larger scale.

Have I made clear that I am not condoning the project - that I think it's fine for a group of friends, but not for con culture as a whole, and that I understand the reasons that it's a bad idea?

Good. Let's move on.

I'm posting not to ramble about my relationship with my boobs and consent and everything. I'm posting because there's a trend in this snowballing shitstorm that is pissing me right the hell off. I'm going to say this flat out:

Stop demonizing theferrett.

For crying out loud, y'all. Over the past few hours, as I've read my friendspage and GoogleReader (oh, look, people off-LJ on the warpath!), I've seen this whole thing metastasize - and that is a deliberate word choice. Because what I'm seeing is cancerous, poisonous, and I want people to please knock it the hell off.

I have seen Ferrett called all sorts of names. Well, fine. This is the Internet, and Ferrett has his big-girl panties. But now I'm seeing threats of physical violence, and I've been told that there's actual scheming to keep him from attending cons, and I've seen all manner of nastiness.

And I want to remind you that this is a person you're talking about.

This is a person. He's been my friend for years, online and (too briefly - must visit!) off. He is a good person. He's a husband (so stop with the "desperate fanboy who doesn't get to touch boobs" thing- he has a lovely, intelligent wife that's being dragged through the muck alongside him), he's a rockin' stepdad to two nifty teenage girls, he's a writer, he's a gamer-geek, he's a friend.

What's Ferrett's crime here? He didn't think up the project; he didn't even print up the buttons. No. Ferrett was an idealist who thought that he'd been part of an intriguing new way to open a dialogue about bodies and sex. And a dialogue is necessary.

But what did Ferrett do, really?

He posted something ill-advised on the Internet.

Let he or she who's never done that cast the first comment.

(Comments disabled because I'm not going to argue about this; I don't have a dog in this fight either way. But dude - Ferrett is not The Great Satan.)
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