Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong

  • Mood:
A moment I hate:

I sit up/I stand/I set my foot on the stairs...

And I can't help it - pain flashes across my face. I school my features quickly, but my partner/my friend has already seen me wince.

The look on their face...

That is the moment I hate.

Yeah, I hate the pain itself. But not nearly as much as I hate the look of heartsickness and helplessness in my loved one's eyes.

*closes eyes* *breathes*

And what do you say? What do I say? It comes out in a jumble. "It's okay."

Another look from my companion, this time a "don't bullshit me" look.

"It'll be okay."

But we know the truth. It might never be okay. They know it. They know I know they know.

And finally what tumbles out of my mouth is the truth we all hate so much to hear and acknowledge: "There's nothing you can do."

Because that is what my partner or friend wants. They want to help. Surely there must be something they can do.

But there isn't.

So I sit, I stand, I walk, trying to not hide the pain now, since they've seen it anyway; being honest.

It is an awful thing to know that someone you care for is in pain, and that there is nothing you can do about it.

And that's what I curse the fibro for. It's not just me that this is hurting.
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.