Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong
shadesong

*droop*

So okay. Stuff. For those who missed my big stompy fit earlier.

* Still crazy 'bout half the time ("Only half?" Yes, yes, pipe down) from the Cymbalta withdrawal. This is a biggie.
* Have stuff I've been asking for help with for months, that I'm physically incapable of doing myself, that no one is helping with.
* Seriously escalating pain levels approaching unrelenting disability in feet.
* Kid issues. Have been asked by kid not to delve into this fully, and will respect that. Suffice to say that she has been acting all crazylike her ownself. (And no, the friend isn't moving, though whether the friend told her that or not, I don't know, and there was too much Other Stuff going on tonight to get further into it.)
* Girl Scout troop leader issues.
* Sex/relationship... not issues, because there are no problems with any existing relationships, except that I don't get to see Spooky or Trey near enough. But - there is a schism between what I have and what is best for me, and I've been trying to sort that out, but that's *difficult*, for a variety of reasons.
* Not bringing money in really bugs me. I've been unemployed for a little over a year now.
* Writerbrain is overwhelming me, and... dude, if I could keep stuff straight in my own head long enough to manage to start my own business, I'd be *able* to do a job, and I'm not.
* This is the time of year on Sprockets when craziness happens. Spent my early adolescence repeatedly trying to kill myself late May/early June. Add to that the rape, which was thirteen years ago tomorrow - so, y'know, at least the crazy is consolidated. If I'm looking for small favors. And some years that anniversary is worse than others. It's pretty bad this year - probably because of all of the above factors throwing me off my axis, particularly that first one. Never underestimate profound chemical upfuckery.

So. Small stuff, which I've not bothered to list, is making me crazy. Big stuff is making me crazier.

So. What can be done about this? Not freakin' much.
* Need to see a doctor about the Cymbalta and pain stuff. Will call tomorrow.
* This was the last meeting this year of this troop. She's not re-upping. She's joining the other troop in town, which has several of her other good friends in it.
* Elayna has a more specific plan for the rest of this year's projects.

*rubs eyes* I don't know. I don't know what else. I don't think I have a chance in hell of managing anything else til I'm done with the Cymbalta withdrawal, and I have NO clue when that will be.

Where is my "fast forward" button?
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