Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong
shadesong

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When one goes through years of hell, it can be very disconcerting to have everything actually be okay. Relationships? Teh awesome. Living situation? RoXX0r. Social situation? Totally tubular, dude. Financial situation? Doin' fine. Body? Well... let's not push it. (Kid? Still great.)

So I actually feel off-balance. Waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I need to remind myself - the other shoe dropped a while ago. Whole damn shoe store, in fact.

So. I should stop looking over my shoulder. I damnwell paid for this life in advance.

And I need to not pick at long-healed scabs to manufacture some dissent for me to deal with. Now is not the time for exercising the crisis muscle. Now is the time to figure out how to function when not in crisis mode. Those other muscles have atrophied, you know?

Manufacturing internal dissent is self-injury. As such, it is reflex, but unhealthy, and cannot be tolerated.

Instead, I shall get a nourishing spa treatment.
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