Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong
shadesong

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Advice

Three comments for three situations:

1. If you want to know if I have a problem with you, ask me directly. In most cases, I'll have told you already - I lack a brain-to-mouth filter, and thoughts tend to spill out as they occur.

1a. I didn't have a problem with you, J., until you treated some of my best friends like shit. And no, I don't mean L., although she's become a good friend. I mean people who've been chosen family for years. And hot on the heels of that, you defriended me and Adam - so we just shrugged and defriended you back, figuring that at least we'd gotten away from your insanity sans drama. But no. For some reason, out of all the people you've alienated recently, you decided to focus on and keep harping on me. You say you don't know what you did? J., you took the first step. And the second, and the third. All we did was shrug and turn our backs instead of fall upon our knees, beat our breasts, and wail for you to love us. I guess that's unforgivable on your planet. I do not know. As for trying to make K. decide? Um, no. Never asked her to. She was welcome to spend time with anyone she wanted on her visit. It's just that you weren't exactly welcome in our home, especially seeing as the friends you'd treated like shit were my guests for the weekend. Any questions? Fucking ask.

2. One of the cardinal rules of online communication - anything you put on the internet, no matter how secure you think it is, is guaranteed to be seen by the person you least want to see it. So. Don't go trash-talking people in locked posts and pretending to be their best buddy in public, because chances are pretty large that someone's gonna notice the discrepancy and point it out to the object of your derision. And when that happens... don't lie. Because proof is really easy to obtain.

3. I despise passive-aggressive bullshit. If you have an issue with me, tell me. This is part of what we in the biz call "growing up".

Listen. I'm aware that there are people who don't like me. But the level of obsession (see #1) and deception (see #2) on the part of some staggers me. Simply staggers me. Hell, I have a stack of magazines in the corner of my office a foot high because I barely get the chance to read, I still haven't found time to get my Massachusetts driver's license, and I still haven't reshelved the DVDs from Elayna's birthday party, and I don't even have a day job - where do these people find the time to nurture obsessions of this level? Seriously. I want to know your time-management secrets.

I haven't said anything about this stuff in ages. On the one hand, it's that I for the most part honestly don't give a shit. I mean, I had the packing, the moving, now the social life, the writing... my wife to kill, and Guilder to frame for it... I'm swamped! On the other hand, I actually have a great deal of pressure on me to not write about this stuff, not acknowledge the attacks - and I'm not talking about the above here, I'm talking about sock-puppet accounts and e-mail harassment - because it's "giving them what they want". Well, I agree, and I don't. They want me shaking in my boots - I'm not. I'm mostly laughing. They want attention - okay, this gives them that, a bit (Adam objects to #1a on those grounds, but I'm sick of seeing her lie about the "situation" and have people believe her in the absence of any other word on the matter - there is no freakin' persecution going on there), but I'm weighing it against what I want. And what I want is to be able to talk about whatever I damn well please.

So stop the bullshit. Be honest. And don't waste your time on people you don't like, for crying out loud. Your time on this earth is finite. There are better ways to use it. Volunteer somewhere. Plant a fucking tree.

Peace out.
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