Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong

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Today's Way in Which I have Pissed My Mother Off: Being too fatigued to attend a dinner party, the night after my daughter's massive birthday party/sleepover.

A normal person would be exhausted after something like that. Not that I know any normal people, but Adam assures me.

And fibro fatigue is not like normal fatigue. I wasn't just tired. I seriously could. not. move. My body was just heavy with it.

Said dinner party was a thing with my second cousin in Lexington. (Side note - were one of my family members to move to town, I'd have them over immediately, not five months later only when my cousin was in town, but hey.) She was making lasagna. Which... mmm, lasagna. I am a great lover of lasagna. To turn down lasagna, you know I'm not well.

I came home from Urban Oasis very hungry, which is normal after hot-tubbing, and very tired, which isn't. My catnap became the bitchslap of fatigue. Adam and Elayna were sent to try to rouse me, and Adam determined that I was going nowhere this evening. Raised voices from downstairs made my mother's displeasure plain. Points raised:

* "But she's cooking for us!" Well, I didn't ask her to. I didn't even RSVP. You just told me I was going. And you know that I get worn out - why plan this the evening after a night I'm guaranteed to get very little sleep, after a day of major energy expenditure?

I stress again that after something like this, anyone would be worn out. Not that she would know, because she did fuck-all. Not so much as filling one bowl with chips. And they were half an hour late. Which Elayna took note of. And they left promptly at six, off to dinner and a movie and absolutely no help.

* "Well, she had enough energy to go hot-tubbing." Yes. Had I not had a long soak? I would be worse, not better; an hour in the hot tub did wonders for my knotted-up muscles after the efforts of yesterday/last night/this morning, so even though the fatigue caught up to me, the pain has been alleviated. Given one or the other, I'd choose to have fatigue rather than pain. Had I not gone to Urban Oasis, mind, I'd have both.

Of course, all of my decisions are invalidated because This Weather Is Bad for Fibromyalgia, and I Knew It Was Cold When I Moved Here. Therefore, in my mother's mind, nothing else matters. I moved to a cold climate, so I deserve what I get.

Petty, passive-aggressive bullshit. Which is normal.


Tomorrow, they go to Cape Cod to drop off my aunt. I will not be going with them, as Friday's trip out there wore me out beyond reason. I don't know what time they'll be home, but I'm assuming they'll be around in the late afternoon and evening.

Tuesday, my mom has set aside as a Getting Stuff Done day. Send help. Tuesday night, Elayna has a concert - yay Elayna!

Wednesday they leave. Don't know what time.

Thursday is Elayna's actual birthday. There will likely be dinner out. Possibly cupcakes.

Friday... I know I have something Friday. Oh! Booth sales. Girl Scout cookies. Kendall Square, I think. I shall let y'all know.

And Saturday, my very first LARP. *nods*

Right now, I just wish I knew what time they'd be back. Elayna's bedtime draws near.

And I'm in that prickly space that comes from the first X in my XNFX, the neat and clean bisection between introvert and extrovert - I want to be snuggled, but godsdammit I want alone time/personal space, and I don't know which I want more. Having some alone time during the day on Thursday and Friday should allow me to function well on Saturday, but it's a long way to Tipperary Thursday.

Dinner. I think I shall have dinner. And tea. (Yes, I just woke up. Hence the disorganization of this post.)
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