Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong
shadesong

  • Mood:

Dinner with the Gojirawitzes

(Elayna compares being nervous to having someone get on your nerves; Kires examines the parallels. Long conversation. Not reproducing.)

Kires: ...and when they're getting on your nerves, you want to eat them. But you can't.

Elayna: I don't want to eat them. I just want to cut off their toes.

Everyone: ...

Elayna: And then their feet. And their legs.

Me: To the pain!

Elayna: And then their arms. And then their head. And then their ears, and nose...

Me: After the beheading, why bother to continue?

Elayna: Well, at that point, it's just fun.

Kires: At that point, it's less torture and more... mulching.

Me: Mmm. A fine red paste on the floor.

Kires: Like marinara sauce.

At this point, Elayna obliges us by flicking marinara sauce onto her eyelid.

Elayna: Aaagh! *giggle*

Kires: See? Marinara sauce is dangerous! Tonight at 11 - examine the perils of marinara sauce. Should you allow it in your home?

Me: We're here with Elayna Gojirawitz, who has just hit herself IN THE EYE, Bob, with marinara sauce. Elayna, how do you feel?

Elayna: It was my eyelid, not my eye -

Me: This is Fox News. We don't care about the facts.

Elayna: Yes, but -

Me: Why do you hate America?

Elayna: *lengthy gigglefit*
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