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Scheherazade in Blue Jeans
freelance alchemist
I'm baaaaack... 
14th-Sep-2006 10:46 am
Magical Drama Queen Roxy!
Adam says, among other things: The analogy I used when talking to her this morning is that her brain used to be like a very fragmented hard drive, with pauses before accessing data. Now, it's like a brand new, blazingly-fast optical drive with near-instantaneous access.

Of course, this is also what she was like before the Trileptal.

In other words, I have my wife back.

I went into the hospital, and I came out as me.

I can think again, and express my thoughts. I'm not brainfogged or word-lost. I have energy. I can walk a straight line.

For the first time in three years.

Someone I met during my Trileptal haze (my parents say I looked like I was constantly in a daze, not entirely there) said that I was "so smart it's scary" and "quick". Oh, you ain't seen nothin' yet. That was my brain working through a chemical fog. Now I can think again.

And part of the problem with expressing part of the disability the Trileptal caused was that I was so elevated before Trileptal, energywise and brainfunctionwise. I went from me to normal-person functionality. And then below.

I'm just so excited that it's hard to type about it. *laugh* I can think I almost feel high. The difference is huge. It's like the difference between being stoned and being sober, or being sober and tweaking.

Maybe even between being stoned and tweaking. That big a difference.

Three years of fog, and I can think again.
14th-Sep-2006 02:54 pm (UTC)
Oh, how lovely! The exuberant energy of your jubilation just pushes through the screen and pulls me with it. Joy!
14th-Sep-2006 03:04 pm (UTC)
Congratulations - that's a great feeling. That's kind of how I feel when the million little details that mire my life are unexpectedly quiet - it's like you could float away. The clarity is transcendant.

14th-Sep-2006 03:05 pm (UTC)
Welcome back.

I know how you feel.

Well, er, brain wise.
14th-Sep-2006 03:06 pm (UTC)
Sooo... now you're defraged eh?!
That is seriously cool... a little scary perhaps since you were scary level smart on the drug, but very, very cool!

14th-Sep-2006 03:09 pm (UTC)
Congratulations - I'm really glad to hear it.
14th-Sep-2006 03:19 pm (UTC)
I'm so very very happy for you! Love you, hon. Can't wait to see you with energy again :)
14th-Sep-2006 03:21 pm (UTC)
I've definitely noticed the difference, both in writing and on the phone. Kind of makes me wonder if I'm going to be able to handle you in person, but of course I'm going to try. ;)
14th-Sep-2006 03:22 pm (UTC)
Welcome back. I was honestly worried, and I don't even know you. *hugs*

I wonder, do ALL seizure meds cause brain-fog like the Trileptal did to you? Because honestly, after eight months of being on the drug, I can't tell. I'm more tired and foggy, but then I was often tired and foggy.
I'm just trying to figure out if it's the Trileptal, and no one can tell me.
(Deleted comment)
14th-Sep-2006 03:25 pm (UTC)
I wish there was some kind of Trileptal that I could come off of, too, so that I could not have those blank spaces in my head sometimes. :)

Hooray! This is awesome news!
14th-Sep-2006 03:41 pm (UTC)
Me too, for the energy boost. My kingdom for more energy.
14th-Sep-2006 03:38 pm (UTC)
I am terrified for the future of the universe. 'Song has her brain back and I predict that something will be exploding soon: Probably your neuro's office.
14th-Sep-2006 03:40 pm (UTC)
Also: Coming off Topamax had the exact same effect for me. Whee!
14th-Sep-2006 03:48 pm (UTC)
Welcome back, hon. *snugs*
14th-Sep-2006 03:57 pm (UTC)
W00000! That's exactly how I felt coming off Paxil.

It's exhilarating!!!!

Enjoy it. I'm kinda envious, 'cause I remember how wonderful it was.
14th-Sep-2006 04:16 pm (UTC)
Fantastic!! I'm so happy for you!! There's nothing like getting yourself back. I've had a similar situation recently, where they changed my meds and altered my diet, and now I can have a life again. It's just so damned cool!

I don't actually KNOW you, but your journal's really compelling. I get a lot out of reading it. Thanks for sharing. :)
14th-Sep-2006 04:29 pm (UTC)
Welcome back!
14th-Sep-2006 05:13 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad to hear that you feel so much better! Terrific news!
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