Just wanted to clarify. The fear here is coming from one of the things that got drummed into my head from the day of my diagnosis: "If you stop taking your drugs, you will die."
This is not really hyperbole. This is actually one of the leading causes of death for epileptics - status epilepticus due to medical noncompliance. (There are many. Seizure-related death, SUDEP, other stuff that I can't accurately quote right now because the page isn't loading... epileptics die liike whoa.) There are some drugs that you just *cannot* safely stop cold-turkey, that you need to taper down over weeks or months in order to not risk death or major damage. Anti-seizure meds = among those drugs.
I jokingly commented to pbristow that if my heart's going to stop, I'm in the best place for it, because they have those big shiny paddles. Clear!
But it's not really a joke if I took it pretty much straight from the paperwork the hospital sent me, is it?
So. That's why I'm scared.
On the happy fun side of things! It was a good mail day today. BPAL from phinnia and setfiretolife, and a talisman for my hospital stay from themaskmaker... my words of description would be inadequate, so I will post a picture. Thank you, Grey-love. All of us here went "Woooow." Thank you.
And I know I'm not alone. There's you guys. My sister called and actually ended the call with "I love you," which I swear she hasn't done since she was Elayna's age. I actually faltered a bit before saying "I love you, too," because it was so utterly unexpected. And I got e-mail from my birth-aunt-in-law, one of my favorite relatives, but one I don't generally e-mail with, I just see her at Christmas - letting me know that she and the rest of the family were thinking of/rooting for me.
So. I am very not alone. Thank you for that.