Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong

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Aren't you all going to be happy when I'm in the hospital and therefore not talking all the time about being scared to go into the hospital?

Just wanted to clarify. The fear here is coming from one of the things that got drummed into my head from the day of my diagnosis: "If you stop taking your drugs, you will die."

This is not really hyperbole. This is actually one of the leading causes of death for epileptics - status epilepticus due to medical noncompliance. (There are many. Seizure-related death, SUDEP, other stuff that I can't accurately quote right now because the page isn't loading... epileptics die liike whoa.) There are some drugs that you just *cannot* safely stop cold-turkey, that you need to taper down over weeks or months in order to not risk death or major damage. Anti-seizure meds = among those drugs.

I jokingly commented to pbristow that if my heart's going to stop, I'm in the best place for it, because they have those big shiny paddles. Clear!

But it's not really a joke if I took it pretty much straight from the paperwork the hospital sent me, is it?

So. That's why I'm scared.

On the happy fun side of things! It was a good mail day today. BPAL from phinnia and setfiretolife, and a talisman for my hospital stay from themaskmaker... my words of description would be inadequate, so I will post a picture. Thank you, Grey-love. All of us here went "Woooow." Thank you.

And I know I'm not alone. There's you guys. My sister called and actually ended the call with "I love you," which I swear she hasn't done since she was Elayna's age. I actually faltered a bit before saying "I love you, too," because it was so utterly unexpected. And I got e-mail from my birth-aunt-in-law, one of my favorite relatives, but one I don't generally e-mail with, I just see her at Christmas - letting me know that she and the rest of the family were thinking of/rooting for me.

So. I am very not alone. Thank you for that.
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