I believe that it has been proven conclusively that bacon milkshakes are a bad idea. Bacon milkshakes do not bring anyone to the yard. In fact, they cause people to run fleeing from the yard, gibbering as if they had seen something Lovecraftian.
Some responses came up time and again in the "what does not go with bacon" section. The following food groups, by your general agreement, do not go with bacon:
* peanut butter
* any manner of dessert
* anal sex.
I thank you all for your input. :)
As for the rest of life - I have been having a monumentally shitty meds day. Monumentally. So I've been asleep all day, pretty much. I am now going to attempt the shower-and-reheated-coffee method of regaining actual sentience.