Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong (shadesong) wrote,
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong

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And still with the vivid dreams...

Last night's dream...

We - and by we, I mean a motley assortment of real-life friends and dream-friends - were in a place that bore a physical resemblance to the shopping area of the new Aladdin hotel in Vegas, just in the slightly mazelike outlay of hallways. There was a con there - or something like a con, but an all-year-long thing. Friends in ren-garb, friends in corsets, friends that are usually scattered across the nation all together and so happy to see each other.

There were also, in some parts of the dream and location, aspects of being in a story and being aware of being in said story.

And damn the dream-bringers... I woke up horribly wistful.

Because in the dream, I had a baby. An infant son. Must be all the talking about pregnancy lately. But yes. And he was one of those magical dream babies who never poops or spits up. *laugh* I did nothing with the dream-baby that I didn't love. Snuggled him, breathing in his new-baby scent, feeling the sweet wisps of his hair. Breastfeeding. (Oh, how I loved breastfeeding Elayna; there's just an amazing connection there that's almost indescribable.) And all of you and all of the dream-friends loved him so and were so happy that he was there.

I wonder if I will ever have him. I dreamed Elayna before I had her, and I've dreamed this baby boy before. Maybe he's waiting. Maybe there will be an awesome new medicine soon, and I can bring him into the world.

*sigh* Yeah. Wistful.

Unrelated to dream, but related to babies, I have made an appointment to consult with a gynecologist re: the Mirena IUD. Which can be taken out if Adam and I decide to have a baby.

EDIT: Hang in there, dream-baby. I hope to meet you in this lifetime. I may not - because I won't bring you into this world unless I can give you the care you deserve, the life you deserve. And I'm not there yet. The medical science does not yet exist to have me there. And I won't bring you here if I can't be a kickass mommy to you. But... I hope.
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